( #002 ) FAKE MARRIED AU

[chatona]

the 'fake married' meme

be it for a job, in order to get your inheritance or to fool your nosy neighbours, you are pretending to be married. now the question is, do you want it to be real or can you hardly wait for it to be over?

Comments

BOBBI MORSE | AOS | OTA

[oneofourbest]

[She will be nicer to you then Lance, but come on, it's Lance. He's terrible by default.]

there's something about bobbi

[battleshipping]

[Apparently there is such a thing as evil lesbian vampires, and the cult's been a problem on SHIELD's radar now that the leader is discussing the possibilities of unification with HYDRA.

Ah, for good old fashioned undercover. Skye doesn't mention that her last undercover stint was the one that got her shot, because Skye doesn't hold onto those details anymore. Much. Really. What she does mention to Lance is the fact that she can see he's almost jealous when she ends up fake-married to Bobbi and proceeds to call the two of them a power couple with obnoxious quotation marks.

Which proves to be a mistake. Trolling Hunter turns out to be a mistake, because he's in their ears almost half the time, and he's been progressing towards discussing their past sex life.]

Whoa, mm yeah - tmi. Honey, tell your ex to zip it, I'm working...

I ship it like amazon drone delivery.

[oneofourbest]

[It's right about when Lance mentions Tehran and "why doesn't she make a dinner suggestion." that Bobbi slides a hand across skye's shoulders before feigning (well perhaps not entirely feigning) interest in her chest so she could whisper a little better.]

Lance, if you don't shut your mouth I'll tell everyone what your mother used to call you whenever we'd go over to her house for Christmas.

[You wouldn't bloody dare-

Bobbi continues, heedless] And when I say everyone, I mean I will broadcast it to SHIELD and HYDRA. It will be known, that captain -

[there's a click and Bobbi pulls herself away from Skye as a few vampires raise eyebrows and amused smirks.

fast, hot with a dash of danger?

[battleshipping]

[She hears the click and by the time Bobbi pulls back, Skye's doing that thing where she smiles at people like they've just invented a better harddrive cooling system. Or hot bread. Her standards are many and varied.

Also, she knows it's very unprofessional to get too into the undercover part, because they have a mission beyond being accepted into the group of powercouple lesbians (who will likely reveal they're vampires after they've hacked through their systems and set the lights to UV-radiation lights), but she does appreciate the fact that her t-shirt has a low swooping back and Bobbi's hand has found skin and bra instead of fabric.

Also also, blissfull silence.]

I could kiss you right now.

[(In the background, the one woman in charge of vouching for them to get in the suburbs -- lesbians in suburbs, that should've been the first clue of EVIL -- lets out an awww. Go team.)]

and when you get to the end you do a happy dance and squee

[oneofourbest]

[Bobbi's arm pulls her closer, and closer, and presses her lips to Skye's ear now that she's sure Lance isn't listening]

I'd like that.

Captain snuggly snicklefritz wouldn't. Which is why I suggest we do it. Has he been like this since he's worked with you or is it just my presence?

[Easy enough to play the overly ditzy blonde Californian who can't stop giggling. She pulls away and slides a possessive hand in Skye's back pocket.]

Re: and when you get to the end you do a happy dance and squee

[battleshipping]

[Probably going to have to answer all of Bobbi's Hunter-related questions when they're not within hearing range of women with probable superhearing abilities, but the suffering sigh she gives her is an illuminating one. She thinks.

Snicklefritz. Okay, she's going to kiss her for being awesome with words. (Whatever excuse works.) And also to sell their cover and get inside that house they (SHIELD) bought for the two of them already. (Whatever excuse works.)

It's probably a good thing that the team has no visual on them, and Hunter's probably sulking in another room or screaming at Coulson that Bobbi has to go for the tenth time (this week), which doesn't mean nobody else is listening, but there won't be a peanut gallery on it, at least.

Bobbi has a nice mouth, the kind that deserves a respectful silence to settle during the first kiss.]

[oneofourbest]

[There's a heartfelt aww from two nearby ladies, holding hands and exchanging loving looks. Hunter has never understood that it's about being able to be free, that that's what she needs.

And she's damn glad that Skye seems to at least. Her kiss is warm and friendly and loving to all outward appearances while sliding her arm around the younger woman's waist before pulling away with a grin in the other ladies direction.]

la mia bella sposa! [There's a few more words in Italian that make one of the older women nod, stiffly, disapprovingly but unable clearly to say anything.] Now comes me asking if she'll let me carry her over the threshold.

[cue an eyebrow raise in Skye's direction.]

[battleshipping]

[She kind of wishes she'd taken a crash course in Italian, but then she wouldn't be able to play so well the 'younger woman impressed by all the culture and knowledge her girlfriend has' card. (Or, well - wife.)

The question makes Skye snort a little.] Well you know I'm all about tradition.

[oneofourbest]

[The older woman is still watching them, glaring at them both.]

...Ever do ballet? Keep your core tight, arm around my shoulder and let me do most of the work.

...Unless you want me to carry you in over my shoulder. Or you could carry me.

[Either way she'll be preparing for the first, watching the older vampiress, the matriarch, with half an eye.]

[battleshipping]

[She forgets all about the matriarch and the mission for a moment, one little bitty moment, and grins.]

Could I? [Carrying Bobbi across the threshold and rubbing it to Hunter? Her new hobby is trolling the new guy, so yes. Hell yes.] Yes, let me carry you.