Friends usually talk about the past 'cause they want to, not 'cause the other person could force it out of them if they decided they wanted to know that badly.
[As sharp and pointed as the words are, he shrugs to soften them a bit. He wants Petre to know where the line is drawn, but not how much it truly annoys him that it can be (and is so often) crossed with such ease.]
Oh, now you're shy. What's stopping you? I would love to know everything that Petre Dodrescu thinks John Allerdyce is bullshitting about. You know how much your opinion means to me.
[Pure challenge. He figures it'll be good for a laugh, anyway.
Of course, he's far too caught up in the game to remember just how clearly and easily Petre tends to see through him, and that this could actually be a dose of reality he'd rather not hear.]
You think losing someone like that makes me wanna jump right back in? No, if anything, it means I'm one of the few people out there who's got the sense not to do it again.
[But you don't control the falling part, do you? Just what you do about it. So one of those red marks could appear, whether he wanted it to or not.]
[He's so confident. Looking right through John because he could see exactly what that girl meant. Giving him what he kept telling himself he didn't want until he cracked. It happened once, it'll happen again, and John's going to fall because he's weak.
Just look at the amount of times he trusted Petre, believing he'd found a friend. Oh yes - he's desperate for the same thing he keeps telling everyone he doesn't need.]
[His lip curls, and there's a flat coldness behind his eyes, which never break from Petre's sharp stare. Either Petre's missed by a mile, or he's hit dead-on and John has retreated fully into his shell of indifference for protection.
(They both know which it is. But he's still never, ever admitting it, not even to himself.)]
We'll see. [Almost an echo, but not quite, and laced with mockery. It's too late for him to pull this out after all he's revealed, but it's his natural defense. Not caring, or appearing not to care.]
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[He's not saying no to that.]
I thought it's what friends did.
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[As sharp and pointed as the words are, he shrugs to soften them a bit. He wants Petre to know where the line is drawn, but not how much it truly annoys him that it can be (and is so often) crossed with such ease.]
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[... Is that true or total bullshit? You decide.]
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Here's a tip, then. If you're gonna remember it, don't use it as dirt against me. Like I know you're dying to. Make a real effort and we'll see.
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[Which, in Petre's opinion, he has plenty of.]
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[But ask him one more time, he just might do it.]
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[Pure challenge. He figures it'll be good for a laugh, anyway.
Of course, he's far too caught up in the game to remember just how clearly and easily Petre tends to see through him, and that this could actually be a dose of reality he'd rather not hear.]
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'It doesn't mean anything'.
That's bullshit.
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It means I loved someone. Once, and past tense. That doesn't mean anything about now or the future.
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[He motions his head a little, defiantly.]
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[But you don't control the falling part, do you? Just what you do about it. So one of those red marks could appear, whether he wanted it to or not.]
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[a pause. He looks at him like he's waiting for him to recognize his mistake.]
'Can't miss what you never had'. There's a reason people say that.
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[How soft does Petre now think he is, just because of one incident?]
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You'll have to.
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[He's so confident. Looking right through John because he could see exactly what that girl meant. Giving him what he kept telling himself he didn't want until he cracked. It happened once, it'll happen again, and John's going to fall because he's weak.
Just look at the amount of times he trusted Petre, believing he'd found a friend. Oh yes - he's desperate for the same thing he keeps telling everyone he doesn't need.]
You'll see.
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(They both know which it is. But he's still never, ever admitting it, not even to himself.)]
We'll see. [Almost an echo, but not quite, and laced with mockery. It's too late for him to pull this out after all he's revealed, but it's his natural defense. Not caring, or appearing not to care.]