[John makes no motion to hide, because he knows any perceived secret at this point will make things a million times worse. Already bad enough that Harry probably overheard them saying they didn't want to tell him.
Jesus. Can anything salvage this? Are they really crashing and burning while he's still alive? Is John this shitty at loving someone properly?]
Kitty, no. [He keeps his gaze as level on Harry as he can, even with his lips starting to tremble just a bit.] We never should've planned not to tell him. It's not like we can hide now.
[ the air is thick. his eyes are looking to their wrists, trying to spot it. he knows it's there. it's there. something that's going to break his heart. he takes a deep breath, thinking he can't breathe. he keeps looking between the two of them. ]
Tell him what, John? [an echo of what Harry said. She can already feel it dripping from him, that hatred she was dreading. Not from him. Please, not from him.] Nothing happened. They're just these stupid marks.
[And she looks at Harry, brows knitted. She pulls down her sleeve. Two red marks, one dark gray.]
I have a crush on you, okay? And - apparently I have a crush on your boyfriend too, because I'm just that much of an idiot. [She's a little out of breath herself. Her heart's beating out of her chest.] I mean - it doesn't mean anything! Nothing happened, and nothing's ever going to happen, so - so we can all just go and pretend I never said anything.
She's telling the truth. [His voice is quiet and even, eyes still right on Harry. Not even willing to create the false appearance of guilt by looking away, though his racing heart is begging him to.] Nothing happened, nothing will.
Nothing happened? [ he's looking at kitty, narrowing his eyes - looking with such intensity. his eyes only go off hers to look at her exposed marks then back to her eyes. crush on him. crush on john -- no but john likes her back. it's reciprocated.
john's saying nothing happened to. his eyes go back to him - then to kitty again. keeps trying to spot a sign that they're lying. kitty looks guilty just for feeling anything. he drops his shoulders and looks down finally, nodding for a moment, chewing the inside of his cheek. trying to think how to approach this. they aren't lying, he thinks.
though he can't trust them completely, can he? their first instinct was not to tell him. why why? cowards. he's looking down and tracing a finger over his own marks, the black one in particular and a pink one close to it. ]
Would you two- ...if I wasn't here... [ there's a pause. an inhale of breath ] If you found out later. After. Would you do anything?
No! [Her answer is immediate, looking at Harry like she's been hit again.] Of course not.
[She'd hate herself first. She's seen how close they are, how much they mean to each other. She's still sure that her feelings towards them stem mainly from the fact that she wants something like that in her life, knowing fully well that she'll never have it. The jealousy almost consumes her, but she still feels affection towards them, respect for what they have. It'll never go away, just like that scar that's taking shape on John's wrist.]
It's just - [her voice lowers. What is it?] I don't know. [More guilt. There's a grimace on her lips, eyes down and brows knitted with a frustrated exhale.] It's so stupid.
You know I can't guarantee what I'll do with the rest of my life. [He's trying to keep his voice soft, but he knows Harry is going ugly places with this, and he wants to try and keep it sensible.] But you better know that I'll always love you, too.
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Jesus. Can anything salvage this? Are they really crashing and burning while he's still alive? Is John this shitty at loving someone properly?]
Kitty, no. [He keeps his gaze as level on Harry as he can, even with his lips starting to tremble just a bit.] We never should've planned not to tell him. It's not like we can hide now.
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Tell me what?
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[And she looks at Harry, brows knitted. She pulls down her sleeve. Two red marks, one dark gray.]
I have a crush on you, okay? And - apparently I have a crush on your boyfriend too, because I'm just that much of an idiot. [She's a little out of breath herself. Her heart's beating out of her chest.] I mean - it doesn't mean anything! Nothing happened, and nothing's ever going to happen, so - so we can all just go and pretend I never said anything.
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john's saying nothing happened to. his eyes go back to him - then to kitty again. keeps trying to spot a sign that they're lying. kitty looks guilty just for feeling anything. he drops his shoulders and looks down finally, nodding for a moment, chewing the inside of his cheek. trying to think how to approach this. they aren't lying, he thinks.
though he can't trust them completely, can he? their first instinct was not to tell him. why why? cowards. he's looking down and tracing a finger over his own marks, the black one in particular and a pink one close to it. ]
Would you two- ...if I wasn't here... [ there's a pause. an inhale of breath ] If you found out later. After. Would you do anything?
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[She'd hate herself first. She's seen how close they are, how much they mean to each other. She's still sure that her feelings towards them stem mainly from the fact that she wants something like that in her life, knowing fully well that she'll never have it. The jealousy almost consumes her, but she still feels affection towards them, respect for what they have. It'll never go away, just like that scar that's taking shape on John's wrist.]
It's just - [her voice lowers. What is it?] I don't know. [More guilt. There's a grimace on her lips, eyes down and brows knitted with a frustrated exhale.] It's so stupid.
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