( #002 ) FAKE MARRIED AU

[chatona]

the 'fake married' meme

be it for a job, in order to get your inheritance or to fool your nosy neighbours, you are pretending to be married. now the question is, do you want it to be real or can you hardly wait for it to be over?

Comments

clint barton / marvel 616

[idk]

leo fitz | mcu

[technologist]

casually collects tropes with you.

[ex_ammunition215]

[ the blue alien squints at them both, and then back at the footage of them in the sleeping bag together. you are... partners? it asks. ward shoots a warning glare at fitz to keep his mouth shut. ]

Yeah, we're together. He's with me.

[ he insists. and he means together on this mission, on this technological delegation, even though fitz is here with shield and probably wants to kill ward for crashing it. but it's not like he can help it — he was supposed to be meeting skye's father, not getting kidnapped into outer space. seeing fitz made him realize he has bigger problems. like the possibility of melinda may somewhere else on this ship. ]

[ the alien seems to be mentally connected to the projected screen it is using to verify them, and it flicks through a bunch of images. ward, whose ability to retain split second information is part of the reason he got top marks at shield, realizes it's doing the equivalent of a reference check on both of them and a google search on what appears to be human marriage. ]

[ uh oh. ]

[ the alien seems satisfied, and marks the back of both their hands with a glowing display of some sort that's probably equivalent to a visitor's badge, and informs them that luxurious quarters have been prepared to human specifications that they may rest in while they wait. ward isn't actually sure what they're supposed to be waiting for, but the alien seems much less hostile than when he'd found it threatening fitz, so that's an improvement. fitz's hostility seems to be at about the same level, but then, the last time he and ward had spoken... it hadn't ended so well. ]

lmfao kicks you out the goddamn door

[technologist]

What?

[ an offended statement rather than a question, said as fitz openly gawks at the alien. half because of the alien thing — something he should probably be used to, given how much the landscape has changed lately, but knowing interstellar travel is on the table isn't exactly the same thing as staring an alien in the face — and half because of that partners.

not because he gets the implication. the implication that he's even working with ward is enough to get his hackles up, but at least angry's better than having a meltdown when he's meant to be representing the human race.

it's mostly by luck that he's paying enough attention to note that the alien's calmed down. as soon as he does, he goes still, tries to adopt a more neutral expression. it's an out. not one he's remotely happy for, but not one he can just throw away, either; not unless he wants to sabotage the entire mission. he even pulls off an extremely terse thank you before they're ushered towards what looks to be a lift. even if he'd wanted to close the door on ward, he wouldn't get the chance. there aren't any controls — it stays open until they're both on, then fitz is distracted by the tattoo on his hand flickering green before the door shuts. ]

You shouldn't be here.

[ in space, for one. anywhere near him, for another, though what he really means is that ward's a dead man if anyone else sees him. it's more threat than concern, and fitz continues to stare belligerently at the closed door as he says it. ]

team rocket's blasting off agaaaaaiiiiin [ting!]

[ex_ammunition215]

[ ward passes a hand over his chin, remembering the itch of his beard. he isn't totally clean-shaven these days, but he doesn't look like he's been stranded on a desert island, either. ]

Any time, Fitz, don't mention it.

[ he snipes back, filled with a familiar annoyance. it's not like he could help being here, while he's certain fitz has been sent in for some reason, and that makes him the stupid one. if there's one thing ward's learned the past couple of years, it's that it's better not to mess with aliens if possible. ]

So who else is here. Skye?

[ skye would make this easier. and not just because he wants to see her, is more inclined to keep her safe. ]

ok but can we interrupt our own thread w our gotg accounts

[technologist]

[ fitz finally looks (glares) at him when he offers the sarcastic rejoinder. he looks different. no more prison uniform, nearly clean-shaven. more like the old ward.

except that's a stupid thought, because the old ward never really existed. ]

I'm not— [ going to tell you anything, here to answer your questions, all of the above. ] No. And even if she was here, I wouldn't tell you.

[ she's totally here. in a completely different wing of the building, doing far more important things with the rest of the team. fitz knows he's redundant, technically, but at least he's here; redundant systems still serve a purpose. after an uncertain pause: ] May's here.

survey says yes.

[ex_ammunition215]

Great.

[ shit. ward swallows despite himself, but manages to keep his tone even. it's good fitz is giving him a heads-up. she got him by surprise last time, but he won't again. and he has an advantage, here: the aliens want him here, for whatever reason. they only eased up on fitz because he was with ward (for a definition of "with" that he's really not planning to—) ]

[ the lift pings open to the quarters they were allocated to wait in. it looks... well, it looks like they've given them the honeymoon suite. ward might have to rethink his definition of "with". he gives fitz a sidelong glance. ]

If you're supposed to be heading out of bounds to finish your mission right about now, I'm not gonna stop you.

[ though it occurs to him belatedly that having vouched for fitz, anything shield might have him do is going to reflect on ward. ]

heheheh

[technologist]

[ there's an obvious pause when the door opens and reveals the quarters (suite, more like), a few long seconds while the details sink in — then fitz says absolutely nothing, just steps forward like he's too busy to comment on the decor.

which he is, sort of. he makes a beeline for a device sitting on the bedside table, and a moment's fussing results in a projection appearing on a nearby wall. it looks like glorified skype, essentially, but it flickers off a moment later before he turns the device upside-down. ]

I need a— a thing. Something to... [ everything about this is awful. the fact that he couldn't sneak any tools in and has to make due with what the room provides: awful. his failed attempt to boss ward around instead of admitting that he can't get access to any other room at this rate, anyway: awful. he's stuck in this room, stuck with ward.

he needs to tell the others that ward's here. he tries to pass it off as mission status quo in the meantime, ignoring the anger and the slight spike of panic in favor of acting like ward's presence is just an annoyance. ]

[ex_ammunition215]

[ fitz's struggle to finish his sentences is actually more painful for ward than his frostiness. but he does understand what it is he wants, or thinks he does: he's planning on using that device to communicate with his team. ward isn't sure he should let him. ]

I've got some lock picks, keys, a screwdriver...

[ he pulls them from around his person, like some kind of evil boyscout. ]

Burner phone if you need the components. Or we could open up one of the wall panels.

[technologist]

[ fitz goes still, looking up to stare at ward. the anger's far from gone, but he's done a fairly good job of pushing it back and honing a cool neutrality. he's a professional. professionals don't have emotional breakdowns in front of their enemies. ]

You have... [ his brow furrows as he mulls over the list. they'd searched him; they'd been searching nearly everyone, using some odd body scan. but ward had just breezed through, and the alien who'd been interrogating fitz had laid off when ward showed up, which is— ]

What are you doing here?

[ as much as he'd like it to sound accusatory, there's a candid, searching lilt to it. ]

[ex_ammunition215]

Helping you out.

[ it's pointed, because he knows exactly what fitz really means. he holds into his screwdriver, turning it in his palms. ]

I don't actually know, otherwise. I think the word is abducted.

[ that's not exactly new to him. but he's had a variety of dealings with a variety of aliens, both as part of shield and after falling out of its favor, so to speak. ]

They asked me a lot of questions about Skye and Raina. If I give you this, are you going to try and do something stupid with it?

[ he doesn't mean stupid like hardware hacking into alien tech so he can talk to the team. he's talking more along the lines of leaving ward helpless in an airless prison cell, clutching at his own throat as he tried desperately to take even one breath. ]

[technologist]

[ there's a flicker of interest in his expression at the names; skye's not entirely surprising, but raina is. the explanation doesn't earn much, otherwise. fitz isn't entirely sure he believes it. ]

Did you tell them anything?

[ that one's accusatory. it's also completely avoiding the question, because fitz gets the implication. the problem is that he doesn't know quite what the answer is — wants to see ward locked up just as much as he wants things to be like they used to be, knows that's a stupid, childish impulse. it's the reason the bite in his voice ends up more defensive than cagey. ]

bruce banner | mcu

[decompress]

spike } btvs } ota

[allbloodyhail]

sam wilson ( falcon ) | mcu | ota

[laggard]

peter quill ✫ gotg ✫ ota

[aromantically]

[favoredone]

[It's supposed to be a quick job. Grab a thing, head to the buyer, get some units, and go out to eat. Oh and stop anyone evil along the way. It's a nice balance between duty and trying not to starve to death. The trouble is they stick out like a sore thumb as a group. It's down to her and Peter to finish this... as a married couple.

She'd be more upset if she didn't see the logic in it. Drax is too honest, Groot and Rocket are half the reason they can't blend in, and people will draw the conclusion anyways upon seeing them. They may as well roll with it.]

Try to keep up, beloved.

[aromantically]

[ he hates the way this is getting to him, how his heart pounds when she calls him 'beloved' and how he's absolutely positive she can hear it. but he does lengthen his stride, swallowing his fears and telling himself it's for the objective when he grabs onto her hand. it's softer than he remembers and he doesn't have to fake the way his thumb immediately strokes over the back of it with affection. ] I have a long torso, dearest. Whereas your legs...

[ god why is he talking about her legs, now he's looking at them. he has to clear his throat and face forward again, shaking his head and finishing the statement meekly. ] Go on forever.

[ peter lets out a little breath he didn't even realize he'd been holding onto and does a better job of cellotaping himself to her side. it's a mixture of relief and quiet panic whenever they get near each other, and lately it's been happening more and more. ]

[favoredone]

[She smiles in spite of herself when he strokes the back of her hand. Gamora can't decide if it's endearing or frustrating that he's struggling with this. She remembers her parents being more at ease. Maybe people will chalk it up to eagerness on Peter's part. Maybe they'll think they are newly married if they even think twice about them at all.] Let's hope the children take after me.

[She smirks. That was terrible of her, but if he's using this as an excuse to check out her legs then she's allowed to tease him.]

[aromantically]

[ children. he actually freezes, dropping her hand after his own gets clammy. he's getting tunnel vision -- all because she's teasing him. he knows she is, but it's still getting under his skin, which he supposes is the point. oh well, what sells marriage more than bickering in public right? ]

I won't fight about this again, love muffin. [ peter crosses his arms across his chest and walks a little apart from her now, vision skirting around her face but never settling in for eye contact. he's good at acting upset; he's had a lot of experience to draw from. ] You know I can't... I would if I could, you know I want to.

[ he scrunches up his face. ] You said it didn't make me any less of a man, but here you are! Always calling me out on something beyond my control.

[ there, gamora. how's that for drama? amusement is sparkling in the corner of his eye, but to the casual observer he's definitely having a scene all his own right here in the street. ]

[favoredone]

[She glances away from him which could be taken as shame. Look at the new bride picking on her poor, put upon husband. She regrets it clearly. Really Gamora is trying hard not to laugh. She can't lecture him about blending in and subtlety when the act is hilarious.]

Let's not make a scene, dear. [She offers up a pacifying smile, moving to catch his hand in hers.] It's a nice day.

[aromantically]

[ maybe before he knew her, he wouldn't have known about the smile she's hiding. he tries to ignore, too, the renewed clammering of his heart when she grabs his hand again. it's the same as before, he doesn't hesitate to lace their fingers, knocking his shoulder gently into hers as they walk. he glances down at his shoes before seeming to concede the point. children can be discussed another day; one that isn't so sunny maybe. that's what marriage is about right? compromise. ]

I guess it's not terrible. [ he looks over at her, expression capturing the joy of the adventure as he brings her hand up to his face and ghosts his lips across the back. ]

[favoredone]

[Gamora smiles a little more fondly than she should under the circumstances. His joy is infectious. For a mercenary job meant to keep food on the table, this is turning out to be surprisingly fun. It's almost like a game to see who can top the other.] Of course it's not. We're together, dearest.

[aromantically]

[ he bites his lip, totally not having to fake the bashfulness. he forgets how perfectly gamora can fake it, at times. because when it's her real emotions, she doesn't know how to deal with them. it makes this exercize both strangely satisfying and completely foreign. like he's with a totally different person and he doesn't necessarily like that feeling. he likes gamora for her emotionally stilted self. but of course it's hard to resist to one-up her too. he's nothing if not competitive, especially with his friends.

he drops their hands to wrap his arm around her waist, reeling her in close while they walk. on a wim he leans in and presses a soft kiss against her cheek. ] Do you remember what I said to you on our wedding day? [ he asks, close to her ear. ] I told you nothing bad could happen so long as we were together.

[favoredone]

[Gamora purses her lip at the kiss. She can deal with the contact. It's not like she ever refrains from it normally. Gentle touches are how she conveys how she cares. It's not uncommon for her to put a hand on someone's back or to linger close when someone questionable comes around. This feels different.

She still refuses to break character though. She smiles confidently.] As I recall, it was because I had this.

[She pats her holstered sword affectionately.] You needn't worry, dear husband. Your wife is still ready to jump to your defense at a moment's notice.