aubergines | ( #002 ) FAKE MARRIED AU

[He always thought his family had a sick sense of humor and it's proven when a great-aunt on his father's side who has spoken maybe ten words to him in his entire life passes and leaves the bulk of her fortune to him and Thea-- except that it's kept in trusts until their wedding days.

Normally Oliver would laugh it off and forget about it, except that he's getting a little desperate for cash. Not just him, not just trying to support himself because he doesn't need a place to sleep and his friends are pretty good at forcing him to take food when it's offered and he isn't interested in throwing any lavish parties any time soon. But being a vigilante is a thankless job, and he's realizing how much he relied on his family's money to even start it in the first place.

Sure, he can make a bow and arrows from things laying around a hotel room. But it's not as good, and it's not a long term solution and the simple fact is that he needs cash just to manufacture his arrows much less to replace the things that break.

He could ask Felicity for this little scheme but it's been tense enough around her lately that he knows it will just make it worse between them and he feels they're already treading on a thin line. Instead he goes to Laurel, who will also think it rather stupid and silly but who is practical enough to pretend to be his wife on a trip to Bludhaven so he can be rich again.

She's also a lawyer and knows how to make the documents look real.]

Thanks again for going along with this. [Oliver says as he sets his suitcase down on the bed. The one bed. Because what married couple asks for a suite with two queens.]

You can have the bed. I don't mind. [And he still honestly prefers the floor.]

[Ironically, she's thought about this for the better part of her adult life. This, marrying Ollie and growing old and happy and wrinkly together, having babies and watching them grow and sending them off to college and being so so so so proud, and never once - not once - being like those couples who fight about money in vicious ways just because they have more of it, but actually be incredibly happy to the point that everyone hates them for it. That was her dream, and then -- the island.

No, and then her with the stupid rushed idea of being like their friends and moving in early, and Ollie giving into his weaknesses and then Sara, and then the island. And then, the mess that followed. For a while, she'd entertained that maybe the dream would happen, only it would be with Tommy, and she'd been happy about that. And then.

Nothing fits that childish dream she'd had before adulthood hit her in the face. And it's a good thing that Laurel has allowed cynicism to slip through the cracks in her hard-earned optimism, because it means she can be pragmatic. Get them married ahead of time, with the promise of disolving the marriage amiably when the time comes, and hopping on a train to Bludhaven and being Mrs. Oliver Queen. For the money.

But if they can't laugh about it, if they can't play it off as the charade it actually is, when nobody's watching, she's going to go insane.]

Don't be stupid, it's a king-size. It has different postal codes, you're not taking the floor. [She takes the armchair to take off her shoes, grimacing a little -- heels on trains lead to aching feet, and she's no stranger to it either -- but she remembers the times when he'd rubbed them and it gets a little too personal to look at him right now.]

You can stop thanking me, Ollie. I'm glad to help, I know you have a lot more resting on your shoulders than just playboy billionaire needs...

[He's thought about it too. But more in the way that he's been utterly afraid of marriage and done everything in his power to sabotage it, to ruin even the possibility. First because he liked his life, he didn't think that he was capable of settling down, not after what happened with that girl and the baby and how Laurel still didn't know. And then because he thought he was better off without any attachments, a fact that his experiences on and off the island have taught him and he's still having a hard time letting that go.

He can't lose Laurel. Not like he's lost Shado and Sara. Their deaths cut like a knife, are scarred over in twist, ugly things but Laurel would be so much worse. Worse than his parents, worse than a child he never met, worse than Tommy.]

Take what you want from the mini-bar at least. It's the least I can do.

[She can tell that the situation is making him uncomfortable, and on any other occasion she would poke a little good-natured fun at it, because they're at that point now. But --]

Is it that bad to be married to me, Ollie? [She congratulates herself for at least managing to make it sound a little like a joke. A tired, worn out joke.]

Because there's very little else other than booze in the mini-bar, and you just told me to help myself...

Shit.

[He doesn't mean to say that out loud but he does and there it is. That was a stupid thing to say, offering Laurel free reign of the mini bar. Which is full of alcohol and she's a recovering alcoholic, that's a stupid thing for him to have even suggested. There's probably ten dollar macadamia nuts in there too but still.]

It's-- you're right. It's not bad. I just have a bad track record, as you know. Really, it has to be horrible to be married to me.

[If it's any comfort, he gets a reasurring smile as a way of forgiveness. She gives up on sitting in the chair, and wobbles over to the bed, lying down ontop of the covers. She was right, it's big enough that they won't even touch; however weird that'll be. The last time they were together in a bed, he'd been... And she had been...

She inhales through her nose, exhales slowly.] I wouldn't know, Ollie. We're not exactly doing anything of the conventional honeymoon things. [She pushes herself up to rest on her elbows. Wiggles her toes. Distraction mechanisms.]

Besides, you're the one married to the difficult, stubborn recovering-alcoholic.

[His stupid family, he curses silently for probably the hundredth time since he found out about the money. When she made the trust fund, his great aunt probably thought that he was going to end up married to Laurel, everyone thought that and that's part of why he ran, why it's so... awkward to pretend to be married to her now.

Because a little part of him that he is firmly trying to ignore, wants it to be real. And another part of him wants to run the other way.]

We could do this all night. [Putting themselves down and being weird around each other and pretending like the elephant isn't in the room.]

But I think I'd rather get dinner.

[She smiles and gets up from the chair.] Best idea yet.

[But as soon as she starts walking, she pulls a face.] It's going to have to be take-in, because I'm not getting back into shoes until the morning.

( #002 ) FAKE MARRIED AU

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