( #002 ) FAKE MARRIED AU

[chatona]

the 'fake married' meme

be it for a job, in order to get your inheritance or to fool your nosy neighbours, you are pretending to be married. now the question is, do you want it to be real or can you hardly wait for it to be over?

Comments

[blabbering]

["you owe me," is what her eyes had said, what he honestly would've had to have been blind to miss, the last time he'd shown up an hour and a half late and didn't call or even text and was probably sure that blood would start appearing on his shirt at any moment. and, yeah, he does owe her, because, yeah, he'd felt bad, he'd felt really bad. she's the best friend he's had in a long time, and like the only one he has left, so, yeah, he's got to start being a better friend to her, he's got to make that effort, he really does.

which, yeah, means he's gotta start making promises he can actually keep.

so that's why he's here, walking down the street next to mj in a suit - no, not the suit he's used to, but, like, an actual suit-suit, suit-and-tie and the whole shebang. aunt may had been so excited, so excited that she'd actually insisted on taking pictures of them like they're still in high school or something. which, that was awkward, but also just being in this suit is so awkward. there aren't even real pockets on this thing, so there's really nothing to do with his hands but fidget awkwardly. in stark contrast, when he glances over at mj, she looks distinctly not-awkward, but rather perfectly poised and, like, totally in her element. she's going to be great at this, he just knows that.

but what he doesn't know is what awkward really means, not until, completely, one-hundred percent out of the blue, mj is grabbing his hand and slipping a ring onto one of his fingers.

well, uh.

um.

silence passes for a moment as he stares down at said hand.]

Look, I'm a fan of gender equality, okay, big fan, huge fan, but I seriously don't understand why it has to be Mister Watson. I'm just saying, I'm just saying, wouldn't it be a lot more equal if we hyphenated it? Like, Parker-Watson, that's equal, both names in this hypothetical - [he trails off. a beat.] - Wait, wait, wait, why am I mister anything?

[nextdoors]

Because.

[That's her reason and she's sticking to it. Or not. MJ huffs out a sigh because he's got a point, even if he does owe her times a million. She can't just throw him to the wolves blind.]

I don't go by Mary Jane Parker-Watson, so that'd be kind of hard to explain, now wouldn't it?

[Plus if you asked her, Peter Watson sounds much better than Mary Jane Parker does. MJ Parker. It doesn't flow. That's not something she thinks about a lot, no way. There's not doodles of her name and his names and hearts in her day planner or anything like that. It's just a fact of life and maybe she'll stop thinking about this now.]

And look, I'm not proud of it, but this gross reporter for this magazine wouldn't stop bugging me to go out with him but he's like the one to make or break a girl's career in this town, you know?

[She wants it so bad, to succeed. To be famous. To work on Broadway for the rest of her life and have people fawn over her. She wants it and this whole thing seems silly and stupid when it's said out loud but she's always been a little bit of both and she doesn't care. This is her career, it's the only thing besides the boy in the suit standing next to her that she's really ever wanted.]

So I told him I was married, to you and try and look really jealous and possessive too, alright? Please. Pretty please.