Kitty. [He's sort of flapping an arm at her, then snapping more insistently.] Kitty. Check your arm.
[He touches the spot again. It's slowly darkening. Maybe he can't call this love yet, that's rather a gargantuan step for him compared to others, but the reciprocation is strong. Whatever name he wants to give the feeling.]
[First she looks at him like he's hurting her, and then she actually listens. Check her arm, why?
Her sleeve falls down when she lifts her arm. One of the marks are gray, and it's such a novel sight that she thinks something's wrong rather than thinking about what it really means.
The look she gives John this time is way beyond disbelief; it's pure denial.]
[If she was about ready to just go hide a second ago, now she very much wants to stay, even if just to figure out how the hell John's head works right now.]
Kitty, have you even heard me and Harry talk to one another? All we do is give each other shit. Constantly. And some sap, yeah, but that took a long time.
[He's visibly embarrassed. There's a new one for Kitty, but he's realizing all of this even as he says it, so it's causing enough of a flush in his face that it's actually visible.]
[Useless gestures and no words. They're always doing it lovingly. It's almost disgusting to watch with how sappy they get.
She just palms her face, slides both hands down. Let her look at her wrist again.]
There's just - there's no way you like me. You've got Harry.
[Oh god -]
You can't tell him. Do you hear me? He's going to hate me so much -
[No, he'll laugh, but then he'll hate her. Because he's dying and because she's going to be around after he's gone and she's so sure he's going to think she'll take advantage of that to take John.]
I wasn't planning on it! Do you know how jealous he gets? Jesus, we'd both be dead.
[But there's a mark there. Now almost charcoal and darkening all the time. Apparently arguing just reinforces the bond, if anyone was still wondering whether or not this was a classic tsundere romance.]
I'm not - [His fingers flex straight, then slowly curl into fists.] I'm not, like, looking for what comes next or anything. That's disgusting. I didn't even know until about five seconds ago, remember? You're just - [Ugh, compliments.] - really fucking cool and cute and sometimes I wish I was the one who'd kissed you properly.
[There. Now he really feels thirteen years old, the way people are supposed to be thirteen years old. Excellent.]
[ speak of the devil. there's harry. clearing his throat. loudly. he's leading in the doorway of the room - head resting against the frame. one arm folded across his chest and the other dangling at his side. his own marks are visible because he's not wearing sleeves. one black one. one red one. they stand out so much against his skin. they're surrounded by sea of pink that harry's explained to john prior as him never really understanding what love was before. most keep fading away.
his words come out in a curious tone - casual but the look in his eyes is so clearly upset. because he heard what they're saying. starting from the don't tell harry point until now. how they think he'll be mad. they're keeping secrets from him? and john's saying he wanted to kiss her...
[Her head turns so fast it's a wonder she doesn't throw a muscle. Her mouth's gaping, both from what John just said to the realization that they're not alone after all. They were never really alone, not with the idea of what Harry could think hanging over their heads, but - well. They don't have to worry about what he would think anymore. He's right there and she has no doubt he heard them. She hopes to god he didn't, but there's no pretending.]
Harry - [She looks between them then, takes a step back and avoids his eyes. It's not what you think - that's what people say when it's exactly what they think. She instinctively hides her wrist again.]
[John makes no motion to hide, because he knows any perceived secret at this point will make things a million times worse. Already bad enough that Harry probably overheard them saying they didn't want to tell him.
Jesus. Can anything salvage this? Are they really crashing and burning while he's still alive? Is John this shitty at loving someone properly?]
Kitty, no. [He keeps his gaze as level on Harry as he can, even with his lips starting to tremble just a bit.] We never should've planned not to tell him. It's not like we can hide now.
[ the air is thick. his eyes are looking to their wrists, trying to spot it. he knows it's there. it's there. something that's going to break his heart. he takes a deep breath, thinking he can't breathe. he keeps looking between the two of them. ]
Tell him what, John? [an echo of what Harry said. She can already feel it dripping from him, that hatred she was dreading. Not from him. Please, not from him.] Nothing happened. They're just these stupid marks.
[And she looks at Harry, brows knitted. She pulls down her sleeve. Two red marks, one dark gray.]
I have a crush on you, okay? And - apparently I have a crush on your boyfriend too, because I'm just that much of an idiot. [She's a little out of breath herself. Her heart's beating out of her chest.] I mean - it doesn't mean anything! Nothing happened, and nothing's ever going to happen, so - so we can all just go and pretend I never said anything.
She's telling the truth. [His voice is quiet and even, eyes still right on Harry. Not even willing to create the false appearance of guilt by looking away, though his racing heart is begging him to.] Nothing happened, nothing will.
Nothing happened? [ he's looking at kitty, narrowing his eyes - looking with such intensity. his eyes only go off hers to look at her exposed marks then back to her eyes. crush on him. crush on john -- no but john likes her back. it's reciprocated.
john's saying nothing happened to. his eyes go back to him - then to kitty again. keeps trying to spot a sign that they're lying. kitty looks guilty just for feeling anything. he drops his shoulders and looks down finally, nodding for a moment, chewing the inside of his cheek. trying to think how to approach this. they aren't lying, he thinks.
though he can't trust them completely, can he? their first instinct was not to tell him. why why? cowards. he's looking down and tracing a finger over his own marks, the black one in particular and a pink one close to it. ]
Would you two- ...if I wasn't here... [ there's a pause. an inhale of breath ] If you found out later. After. Would you do anything?
No! [Her answer is immediate, looking at Harry like she's been hit again.] Of course not.
[She'd hate herself first. She's seen how close they are, how much they mean to each other. She's still sure that her feelings towards them stem mainly from the fact that she wants something like that in her life, knowing fully well that she'll never have it. The jealousy almost consumes her, but she still feels affection towards them, respect for what they have. It'll never go away, just like that scar that's taking shape on John's wrist.]
It's just - [her voice lowers. What is it?] I don't know. [More guilt. There's a grimace on her lips, eyes down and brows knitted with a frustrated exhale.] It's so stupid.
You know I can't guarantee what I'll do with the rest of my life. [He's trying to keep his voice soft, but he knows Harry is going ugly places with this, and he wants to try and keep it sensible.] But you better know that I'll always love you, too.
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[He touches the spot again. It's slowly darkening. Maybe he can't call this love yet, that's rather a gargantuan step for him compared to others, but the reciprocation is strong. Whatever name he wants to give the feeling.]
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Her sleeve falls down when she lifts her arm. One of the marks are gray, and it's such a novel sight that she thinks something's wrong rather than thinking about what it really means.
The look she gives John this time is way beyond disbelief; it's pure denial.]
Why?
[What could he possibly be seeing in her?]
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Right back at you. Why me? You like hitting me and trying to burn me. That's the extent of what I've seen from you.
[Oh, if only he'd watched anime, things would be so much more obvious.]
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That's because you - you're always just making fun of me!
[and boys make fun of girls they don't like.]
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[But his arm his telling him otherwise, clearly.]
- but I like it. I know you're tough, even if no one else does.
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[If she was about ready to just go hide a second ago, now she very much wants to stay, even if just to figure out how the hell John's head works right now.]
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[He's visibly embarrassed. There's a new one for Kitty, but he's realizing all of this even as he says it, so it's causing enough of a flush in his face that it's actually visible.]
You're just at the constant shit stage.
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[Useless gestures and no words. They're always doing it lovingly. It's almost disgusting to watch with how sappy they get.
She just palms her face, slides both hands down. Let her look at her wrist again.]
There's just - there's no way you like me. You've got Harry.
[Oh god -]
You can't tell him. Do you hear me? He's going to hate me so much -
[No, he'll laugh, but then he'll hate her. Because he's dying and because she's going to be around after he's gone and she's so sure he's going to think she'll take advantage of that to take John.]
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[But there's a mark there. Now almost charcoal and darkening all the time. Apparently arguing just reinforces the bond, if anyone was still wondering whether or not this was a classic tsundere romance.]
I'm not - [His fingers flex straight, then slowly curl into fists.] I'm not, like, looking for what comes next or anything. That's disgusting. I didn't even know until about five seconds ago, remember? You're just - [Ugh, compliments.] - really fucking cool and cute and sometimes I wish I was the one who'd kissed you properly.
[There. Now he really feels thirteen years old, the way people are supposed to be thirteen years old. Excellent.]
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[ speak of the devil. there's harry. clearing his throat. loudly. he's leading in the doorway of the room - head resting against the frame. one arm folded across his chest and the other dangling at his side. his own marks are visible because he's not wearing sleeves. one black one. one red one. they stand out so much against his skin. they're surrounded by sea of pink that harry's explained to john prior as him never really understanding what love was before. most keep fading away.
his words come out in a curious tone - casual but the look in his eyes is so clearly upset. because he heard what they're saying. starting from the don't tell harry point until now. how they think he'll be mad. they're keeping secrets from him? and john's saying he wanted to kiss her...
oh ]
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Harry - [She looks between them then, takes a step back and avoids his eyes. It's not what you think - that's what people say when it's exactly what they think. She instinctively hides her wrist again.]
- I should go.
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Jesus. Can anything salvage this? Are they really crashing and burning while he's still alive? Is John this shitty at loving someone properly?]
Kitty, no. [He keeps his gaze as level on Harry as he can, even with his lips starting to tremble just a bit.] We never should've planned not to tell him. It's not like we can hide now.
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Tell me what?
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[And she looks at Harry, brows knitted. She pulls down her sleeve. Two red marks, one dark gray.]
I have a crush on you, okay? And - apparently I have a crush on your boyfriend too, because I'm just that much of an idiot. [She's a little out of breath herself. Her heart's beating out of her chest.] I mean - it doesn't mean anything! Nothing happened, and nothing's ever going to happen, so - so we can all just go and pretend I never said anything.
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john's saying nothing happened to. his eyes go back to him - then to kitty again. keeps trying to spot a sign that they're lying. kitty looks guilty just for feeling anything. he drops his shoulders and looks down finally, nodding for a moment, chewing the inside of his cheek. trying to think how to approach this. they aren't lying, he thinks.
though he can't trust them completely, can he? their first instinct was not to tell him. why why? cowards. he's looking down and tracing a finger over his own marks, the black one in particular and a pink one close to it. ]
Would you two- ...if I wasn't here... [ there's a pause. an inhale of breath ] If you found out later. After. Would you do anything?
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[She'd hate herself first. She's seen how close they are, how much they mean to each other. She's still sure that her feelings towards them stem mainly from the fact that she wants something like that in her life, knowing fully well that she'll never have it. The jealousy almost consumes her, but she still feels affection towards them, respect for what they have. It'll never go away, just like that scar that's taking shape on John's wrist.]
It's just - [her voice lowers. What is it?] I don't know. [More guilt. There's a grimace on her lips, eyes down and brows knitted with a frustrated exhale.] It's so stupid.
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