aubergines | ( #002 ) FAKE MARRIED AU

[ yes, well, it wasn't going to get any better, which should be telling enough by the way daichi can't quite look back at suga. especially when suga continues, coming to his own conclusions, conclusions that daichi is pretty sure are wrong. or at least, not at all where daichi is going with this. ]

Well, yeah, I told her I was dating someone. [ and then he kind of laughs, though it comes out a little more forced than anything. this is so weird, mostly because daichi is rarely ever nervous. excited, sure. tense with anticipation. but nerves were never something he really worried about - and that's what he's calling the way his stomach hasn't quite loosened up since this conversation started. even if suga is totally calm, and probably will just respond with a laugh (hopefully will, at least).

okay, no. this is silly. they're best friends. whatever happens, happens. daichi stands up straight, takes a deep breath, and with his eyebrows lifted in a sort of sheepish look, daichi just comes out with it. ]

I told her we were dating.

[ and now for the crash and burn. ]

Edited 2014-10-27 22:39 (UTC)

[ when daichi laughs, it prompts suga to join in because so far, everything is pretty much going as he'd suspected. his friend's resolve was normally strong, but it seems like it wasn't anything on his mother's determination. he almost feels sorry for whoever daichi must've finally turned to — or maybe he'd finally picked up on the way nanako-san from the room across from theirs kept flirting with him every time their paths crossed and asked her out. either way, he's about to berate the other teen on not telling him sooner because really, this isn't the kind of thing to keep secret from one's best friend. ]

I can't believe you went the whole train ride without—

[ and then daichi's next words catch up with his brain. ]

—what?

[ he can already feel his face turning red from either surprise, embarrassment, or something else. the way he'd suddenly yelled is drawing attention to them and suga ducks his head in an attempt to avoid the stares that must be directed their way. when it feels like his eyes are no longer bugging out, he looks back up at daichi with a mixture of confusion and amusement. ( the strange flip-flopping feeling of his stomach hasn't gone away, but who wouldn't feel weird after being something like that so suddenly? ) ]

I - I can't believe you're joking like this, Daichi. [ he laughs slightly, as if that'll get the other boy to give up the obvious ruse, even if he knows that he's not the type to pull this sort of thing. and if daichi looks too nervous for a prank, maybe that's just because he's never done anything like this, right? ]

You act like I can't be equally in love with both, sweetheart.

[ He drawls out the last word, not bothering to suppress the cheeky smirk that makes its way to his face.

Surprisingly (or possibly not surprisingly in the slightest, given Peter's usual reaction to trouble), Peter just thinks all of this is kind of hilarious. Well, not the blowing-up planets part, but definitely the whole, "Hey, Star-Lord, you and Cap are pretty much the only dudes we've got left who could possibly maybe pull off the whole adorable couple" thing. And, okay, Peter's pulled off con-jobs before -- he's played a drunken idiot, he's played a lost tourist; he's been a playboy billionaire (dressed on his employer's dime, of course) and a businessman and a lot of little stuff in-between. But he's never been a newlywed, and the last time he had a job with higher stakes than a stack of credits? He had played the roles of "Idiot" and "Lord of Dance" in one to varying degrees of efficacy, depending on who you asked.

(He also, briefly, played the role of flashy-flashy-burning-dying-fireworks-laser-light-show, but he's not doing that ever again.)

Peter's pretty confident they can pull this off, though. He's a practiced liar, and Rogers is great at thinking on her feet. And besides, he's working with the goddamn Captain America. No need to pretend to be a stammering, blushing mess, here.

It also helps that he's had a crush on Rogers (or, at least, Rogers, the All-American icon) ever since Gramps shared his collection of memorabilia with him when he was old enough to appreciate it. And Peter's pretty sure he gave that hand away the first time he had met the Captain in the flesh, when he had just stared, eyes wide and mouth open, and blurted out, Holy shit I love you. (So smooth. He's seriously thankful Rogers was cool about it.) ]

Wanna review cover stories for the millionth time?

[it doesn't get more undercover when you have an actual violent criminal and ex-con for a fake husband.

but it's also the reason why he has one hand cuffed to a car door right now.]

Can I at least get a smoke?

[ Although his memory still isn’t a hundred percent, and maybe it never will be, Bucky remembers being sent on missions. They were usually cold and dangerous, involving a lot of crawling through mud and underbrush in the middle of the night to some enemy encampment. Occasionally there was an infiltration job. Maybe one or two that required a disguise. But more often than not, they typically ended with an assault, guns blazing and enemy soldiers dying in droves.

Things were different with Hydra. There was less dirt and noise, more ice and stealth and long periods of silent darkness. And pain. Bucky remembers a lot of pain. More with Hydra than the American army, but pain’s been a constant since he went off to war and never really came home.

There’s no pain on this mission. No cold. No discomfort. He’s with his best friend, his other half, the one person in the world he trusts beyond the faintest hint of doubt. In a way, it’s a little absurd. Steve’s terrible at undercover work. He thinks he’s great at it, but even if he didn’t know him better than he knows himself, Bucky could spot him a mile off. This whole honeymoon in Vegas thing they’re doing to try to catch a Hydra agent who’d gone to ground following the collapse of SHIELD seems a little beyond Steve’s pay grade.

But there’s no one else Bucky could actually fake being married to, so it was Steve in his crappy disguises or scrapping the plan with the most chance of success and attempting a frontal assault that might cause their quarry to go to ground. What else could they really do?

Their arrival goes without a hitch. They get to Vegas, they get their room, they go to dinner, and they have a nice time together seeing the sights, scoping out the territory and trying to get a read on their target. As supersoldiers, they don’t need to sleep, but regular men, on the first night of their honeymoon no less, do and eventually they have to call it a night. Steve goes to take a shower and Bucky should put on his pajamas, turn on the TV, maybe get out a book, and settle in for the night. But he should do a lot of things, and over the course of his life, he’s proven not particularly inclined to doing what he should.

When the sound of the shower cuts off, he strips down to his boxers, runs his fingers through his hair until it’s a rumpled mess, and then pours himself across the bed in his best attempt at a seductive sprawl. That there are still rose petals strewn over the bedspread—part of the hotel’s thoughtful nod to romance, the champagne and selection of chocolate currently sitting out of the way on the nearby table —makes it all that much more ludicrous, which is entirely the point. Because when the door opens and Steve walks out, Bucky shoots him his most sultry come-hither look and pats the top of the mattress with his flesh hand. ]

Come here, Steve. [ A lifetime ago, Bucky considered himself gifted at the art of seduction. He doesn’t remember how he used to do it, but he tries his damnedest now, pitching his voice as low and throaty as possible without making himself sound so idiotic that he gives the game away. ] It’s time to consummate our marriage.

[Pepper was... not probably, but definitely somewhere sharpening an axe to use on him, but it wasn't like he'd had much of a choice.

Okay, well, he'd had a choice, but blah blah, your country needs you, blah blah blah which he hadn't cared about at all until the science came out. There was more to it than that, but he'd pretty much tuned out after the science part, and Pepper had promised to wait until he got back to murder him.

He just hoped he could spin the "the only agent available for this mission is a teenage girl" part to his advantage, though, otherwise he was going to be in serious trouble.

He parked the depressingly bland car in the driveway and headed into the equally depressing and bland suburban house (in the middle of a development full of virtually identical houses).]

Honey, I'm home. What's for dinner?

Yep. If I remember right, you had suggested this would be a good way to strengthen our relationship. And it’s seriously hard to say no when you do that puppy-dog pout.

[ The aliens in question make a sort of chittering sound, which Peter knows is their way of laughing; after that, they go into their own story of their first meeting, and—okay, Peter totally zones out. He hates listening to this stuff, but he keeps smiling his pleasant smile, feigning interest.

Playing the role of newlywed and husband had always been pretty low on Peter’s list. He much preferred cool stuff, like playboy or super spy, but he’s also had to make-do with idiot and drunkard and totally and completely lost. (He worries that he’ll be typecast one of these days, so he’s making an effort to branch out.)

Suffice it to say, he’s really damned surprised at how well Aerith has taken to this whole lying business. When the job came up and it became clear that the only appropriate cover would be “married couple” (given, of course that the gathering was a couple’s retreat), Aerith had been the only suitable choice (seeing as how Gamora, trained warrior and assassin, did not have the words “sociable” and “bubbly” in her vocabulary). He had assumed he would be doing all the talking, but when the first couple had intercepted them to chat, she had totally stepped up and shocked the hell out of him.

The couple they’re speaking to chitter again, and Peter doesn’t hesitate to laugh quietly along with them. He totally didn’t hear the joke, but the expectant look on the woman’s face clues him in to the appropriate response pretty quickly. After that, he silently breathes a sigh of relief when they wave to another couple, say their goodbyes, and move to join them.

He leans in close to whisper in Aerith’s ear, looking every bit the part of a loving, romantic husband -- complete with a small, private smile and a half-lidded gaze that screamed “I only have eyes for you.” It would totally ruin the effect if anyone but Aerith could hear what he actually says, though. ]

Holy shit, they were boring as hell. Did you see the way the wife kept fidgeting? She’s totally doing their pool boy.

[ It’s not the worst assignment he’s ever been given. Of course, Steph Rogers doesn’t know—can’t know—about the worst assignments he’s had. But even as far as SHIELD’s concerned, he’s had worse. Not quite as weird, sure, but definitely worse.

Minus the alien invasion of New York City, this certainly takes the award for weirdest mission. It makes him wonder if Fury hates him. Or if he did something to piss Pierce off recently and this is his passive-aggressive way of demonstrating it. ]

So how do you want to play it?

[ He glances over at her, eyebrows raised, as his fingers drum a faint, rhythmless beat against the steering wheel. Technically, having just been married means that they ought to be happy and joyous and unable to get enough of each other. But everybody fights, even the most disgustingly in love couples. It’s possible the people they’re pretending to be got into an argument on the way here. Money. Pre-martial issues. Familial trouble at the wedding. There’s a whole host of problems that Brock knows about, thanks to listening to other members of the STRIKE team complaining about their own family drama, that they could plumb for inspiration if need be. ]

We madly in love or did we just get hitched because I knocked you up and your parents are old-fashioned?

[ He manages to say it with a straight face, but there’s a glint of amusement deep in his eyes that gives away how hilarious he finds the question, even if he doesn’t allow himself the opportunity to laugh about it. ]

How bad could it be?

[ He’s actually kind of nervous about it because this is weird but LET’S IGNORE THAT. ]

Why is this the only option, again?

Huh. Am I really?

[ He shrugs at that bit of information – and the title still has a sort of funny ring to it. He definitely understands why Zelda would want an arrangement like this; he’s only been the public eye for, like, ten seconds in comparison to her, and he’s already chafing under all the scrutiny. ]

[ At the moment, they’re still going through the show of a courtship, sitting together in the courtyard of the castle. Peter’s had a lot of jobs that involved a whole lot of lying, and one of the first things he had said when he agreed to this was, “We need to make this look convincing.” So there had been a lot of chaperoned visits and gifts and holy hell it was the most tedious thing, and he’s sorry that they didn’t just up and announce the union out of the blue, like Zelda had suggested. The only silver lining is that they had pretty much finished going through the motions (the only thing left, now, was to make it official, at least on paper) and were provided some breathing room to themselves – in public, anyway; it’s not hard for a thief like Peter and practiced ninja like Zelda to sneak their way on and off the castle grounds.

(Naturally, when they snuck off to work a job, the assignments tended to be nothing too bad. Usually a lot of “retrieve this item that was stolen from me,” or “these guys are a-holes, please take away their magic ruby” or whatever. Peter’s not a total dick, after all.)

And aside from the accolades and the idea of, you know, being a goddamn king at least in title if not in responsibility, Peter knows that Zelda’s skills are seriously useful, and the idea of being partners was extremely tempting. His area of expertise is in lying to people to their faces with a charming smile, in switching out trinkets or divesting people of the goods in their pockets. It’s Zelda who has all the espionage skills, the stealth skills, who could slip in and out of a room without so much as a whisper or a breeze. And for a thief? Those are some seriously invaluable talents.

Still, the whole thing is—really fucking weird. Will he have to call himself Star-King for the sake of accuracy? Do they really expect him to, like, do parades and wave at people and perform charity work? Will they cotton on to the fact that he’s little more than a pickpocket and the marriage is basically a sham when he accidentally pilfers a ring off some dignitary’s finger? (Because he’s not a kleptomaniac by any means, but sometimes he just does that shit.)

Meh. They can worry about the particulars later. Peter’s always been the sort of person who lived in the moment, anyway, and at the moment, this has been a pretty sweet deal.

Which is why he favors Zelda with his most charming smile, eyebrow raised, looking every bit the roguish conman that he really is. ]

Pretty sure I’m the most handsome, too. I’m a serious catch, you know. You’re gonna have a lot of jealous women to contend with.

Edited (for better or worse?!?!) 2014-10-28 16:51 (UTC)

[ she never takes off the bridal veil, btw. ]

[[Trying to pull one over on the Capitol? Or alternately, maybe Katniss and Peeta aren't the first marriage they force to happen?]]

( #002 ) FAKE MARRIED AU

Carol Danvers | Marvel Comics

Kitai | Codex Alera

no subject

fukutomi juichi || yowapeda

panne | fe:awakening

1/2

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Cissie King-Jones | DC Comics, pre-reboot

lemme know if this is assuming too much about what she'd actually do obvs

no subject

sorry not sorry

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wichita ☢ zombieland

Naoto Shirogane | Persona 4

no subject

Kasumi Goto | Mass Effect

Peggy Carter | Marvel Cinematic Universe

Clint Barton | Marvel Cinematic Universe

Annie Cresta | the Hunger Games

Steve Rogers | Marvel Cinematic Universe

Jane Foster | Marvel Cinematic Universe

Beverly Katz | Hannibal