( #002 ) FAKE MARRIED AU

[chatona]

the 'fake married' meme

be it for a job, in order to get your inheritance or to fool your nosy neighbours, you are pretending to be married. now the question is, do you want it to be real or can you hardly wait for it to be over?

Comments

Re: Loki (Agent of Asgard) | Marvel 616

[jarnbjorn]

If father hears of this-

[Suffice to say, Thor currently would like to kill all witnesses and head back to Asgard. But no. Pretend married. Thanks, Loki.]

[selfimage]

He won't.

[ that's a flat answer that cuts off that statement. ]

Because you wouldn't dare tell him. Some secrets are best kept between us, Thor, especially when it's the better option. Though I know how much you want to put an axe in someone's face, father will be more displeased to know all the wars that would domino from your actions.

[ got you by the balls. ]

[jarnbjorn]

[Somehow, Thor does not punch Loki in the face. Miracles do happen.]

Then none shall hear of it. Ever.

[He crosses his arms and scowls into the distance, not at all looking the picture of happiness a newly-wed should.]

Then let us do what must be done, the faster to end this farce.

[selfimage]

[ he tries not to roll his eyes, but it takes everything in him not to make a slightly cutting yet endearing comment. instead he vouches for the more feelsy route. to be fair, this was a Thor that he hadn't seen in ages, that only (until recently) resided in his memory, and even that couldn't be trusted lately.

instead of the bristle trickster that Thor knows as a brother, Loki sounds a bit more sincere. ]

What bothers you so, brother? Though I know how much you loathe tricks and games ... you'll not have the blood on your hands to match.

[jarnbjorn]

[Honestly, Thor is not certain what has him so antsy about this. Odin is always going on at him about using his head instead of his hammer to solve problems.


He shrugs his shoulders.] We ...are brothers.

[selfimage]

[ he was just a moment to see if another statement will come after that. instead, he just hears crickets chirping. ]

... and now we're married. Congratulations on our nuptials! You take things too seriously. You know with any good reception comes lively expressive balloons and a few heavy kegs.

[jarnbjorn]

[It is surprising what the promise of alcohol does to Thor's mood.

Or perhaps it isn't. Either way, he huffs to show that he is still not pleased with this plan, and that killing everyone might not be so bad.]

No doubt we'll share the first cup, to ensure all our children are healthy, male, and bring us glory. [A poor attempt at sarcasm, but he is trying.]

[selfimage]

[ years of dealing with this Thor, and then years of dealing with the man he will be, makes his attitude and his barbs sting all the less. Loki keeps his enthusiasm admirably. ]

I'll save you from the misogyny later. [ he replies coolly. ] Why don't you just enjoy yourself? Who cares what dad thinks? Ol' one eye has his own problems to deal with, and we're here to make less of them.

[jarnbjorn]

Shut up, Loki.

[Stunning repartee from the elder brother.]

Where is this reception? I feel a week's feasting will be the least I need to endure this. [Because the reception is going to be at least a week long. Right.]

[selfimage]

[ why wouldn't the reception be a week long? we are vikings, obviously. ]

In the realm of drunken Debaucheryheim.

[ he says all too seriously. ]

[jarnbjorn]

[...

Hey!]

Watch your tongue, wife. If this must be endured, I will not have your mockery ruining my drinking.

[selfimage]

[ Loki really really tries to keep a straight face with that, but there's a little he— that escapes his lips that threatens to turn into a full-fledged laugh. ]

Is that meant to be an insult? When you start drinking I hardly think that anything I scheme will bring it to ruin.

[jarnbjorn]

[Thor misses his own Loki who was less talky than you are. Norns help him get through this without murder.]

Odin's wrath or no, slaughter seems more and more like an appealing escape.

[selfimage]

Always with the threats of violence.

[ a little more sassy than you're used to, huh bro? ]

I suppose this is only a task that I can undertake, after all.

[jarnbjorn]

[So much sass. What is a Thor to do?]

And why should you be the one to get all the glory?

[selfimage]

Because aside from axes, some things require finesse and subtlety. [ he waves his hand carelessly. ] Two things that you never really found strength in. [ was that a challenge? ]

[jarnbjorn]

If needs call for them, Thor shall not be found lacking.

[hdu Loki that is so rude. Thor is the greatest, finest and subtleti-est of them all.]