( #002 ) FAKE MARRIED AU

[chatona]

the 'fake married' meme

be it for a job, in order to get your inheritance or to fool your nosy neighbours, you are pretending to be married. now the question is, do you want it to be real or can you hardly wait for it to be over?

Comments

i try

[afieldsmedal]

Not before our wedding night, sweetheart. Remember, we've chosen to wait.

[ and kissing anyone sounds nauseating which, on an already unstable stomach would end... badly.

the second the little old lady is out of earshot, though, she puts her elbows on the table and leans her head into her hands with a heavy sigh. ]

Sorry. It seemed a lot funnier in my head. Before I thought she was going to take it seriously.

[pronged]

This kind of behavior is what drives me into Sirius's arms, I hope you know that.

[Give him a minute or two and he'll always pick up on the joke. And then just carry it on forever.]

But he never gets me scones so maybe I really will be faithful from now on.

[afieldsmedal]

How nice of you to make an effort. Maybe now we won't have to get a divorce, and little Henry and Harriet can live normal, unbroken lives.

[ with their alcoholic parents. ]

i cannot write long tags anymore sorry

[pronged]

Great, they'll just grow up to murder us in our sleep with names like that. Brilliant.

me neither this is why I love you

[afieldsmedal]

[ defensively: ]

What's wrong with Henry?

[pronged]

Henry Potter? Merlin no. No child of mine will carry that name.

[afieldsmedal]

[ ok but important: ]

Who says we're taking your last name?

[pronged]

Woman, you are bloody insane if you think the children and I are taking yours.

[afieldsmedal]

[ somewhere deep down she's incredibly amused that he's so upset about this fictitious marriage and these hypothetical babies. but on the surface (she looks calm and ready, to drop bombs but she keeps on forgetting what she wrote down — ) lydia's ready to fight him on this. ]

Why do you have to be so old fashioned?

[pronged]

[It's not his fault she's got idiotic ideas. James Martin might as well be the most Muggle name to ever Muggle. James doesn't buy much into that pureblooded, wizard superiority nonsense but he does really enjoy being a wizard.]

Think of McGonagall, would you. She lives to yell at Potters. And Blacks but we all know that Sirius isn't ever going to father a child. I think his nads don't work right, shooting blanks you know, but you didn't hear that from me. What would she yell instead? Martin? Doesn't have the same ring. The kids will be so ashamed.

[afieldsmedal]

Or maybe, you know, our kids aren't going to be horrible little trouble makers like you and your best friend.

[pronged]

Not bloody likely if they want to inherit any of my wealth and be acknowledged as my offspring in public.