aubergines | ( #002 ) FAKE MARRIED AU

[ His sigh is way over the top. ]

Why do I hangout almost exclusively with crazy people?

Easy - because there's never a dull moment with people like us.

[ She slows down in her tracks then, pulling her hand away from Peter's grip and examining a nearby wall. ]

What do you say we take out a couple more brainwashed Cerberus lackeys on our way out? Other side of this wall bets us to the base of one of those watchtowers by the entrance.

[ Alright, he was playing the long-suffering straight man before, but her question makes him smirk. His fingers touch the trigger behind his ear, and his mask flares to life. ]

See? Now that’s the proper way to show a guy a good time.

[ He digs into his pockets, pulling out a handful of explosives the size of ping-pong balls. He frowns when he recognizes a bit of flaking paint on one of them -- he's, like, 80% sure Rocket dismantled something from the kitchen to make these. Peter shakes his head as he kneels in front of the wall Goto pointed out and thinks, What a god damn asshole. ]

These bombs used to be a food processor. [ He says it as he presses a couple to the wall. ] Thought that'd be a fun and terrifying tidbit of info for the both of us.

[ She steps back and lets him do his work. The mention of a food processor makes her tilt her head, though, before an incredulous expression takes over. ]

I'm surprised you guys even had a food processor. Though I suppose it makes sense, given the fact that anytime anyone tries to chop food with actual knives and a cutting board on your ship would probably just end up stabbing someone else.

[ Peter gives her a pointed look, though it's masked behind his helmet. He feels strangely compelled to defend his teammates' abilities. (If he cared to admit it, it's because he's proud of them and this little ragtag team they've put together, but that sounds stupid. If asked, he'd say it was because they would kick his ass if he didn't say something in their favor.) ]

Please, they've got more skill than that. They wouldn't stab anyone they didn't mean to. I've seen Drax cut a tied-up hostage loose without even glancing at her. And I've seen Gamora throw a knife across a crowded room and nail a guy in the eye. It was awesome.

[ Clearly his lifestyle has given him a strange definition of "awesome." He reaches up to place a few more of the explosives closer to the ceiling. ]

'Sides, Drax cooks. I mean, not often? But he's pretty good. We got the food processor for him hopin' he'd cook some more, but he said he prefered the old-fashioned way. 'Least we know kitchen appliances can blow shit up, now. Thanks, Rocket.

[ For good measure, he places two bombs in the center of the wall, then steps back. ] Think we're good. You ready?

[ Well thanks to that, she's totally going to invite herself over for a gourmet meal courtesy of Drax someday. So enjoy.

She responds to his question with a nod and takes another step back just for good measure. ]

Hit it, Star-Lord.

[ He follows her lead, taking another step back (just in case, seeing as how Rocket's a pyromaniac) and hits the trigger that was also helpfully supplied.

The explosion is near deafening, but less flashy than Peter would've expected. One second there was a wall, the next there's rubble and dust and smoke and the faint smell of burnt plastic.

Peter grabs hold of his blasters just as a startled guard steps through the smoke to find out what the fuck just happened. The man's greeted with a blast of electricity to the chest, and he falls twitching to the ground. After that, Peter sweeps an arm out, half-bowing to Kasumi. ]

Ladies first.

[ She half-bows in response, stepping over the still-twitching body and looking back over her shoulder at Peter. ]

Charmed.

[ And with a quick flash, she's disappearing into invisibility yet again. Don't worry, she won't be straying far form Peter, just reappearing next to and striking against another approaching guard before sending an overload of shock through his body. ]

[ Even if Kasumi were looking at him, the roll of his eyes would still be hidden behind his mask. ]

Show-off.

[ He steps out soon after, though, and there's a shout of surprise somewhere to his right. Another Cerberus soldier cries at them to stop where they are, blah blah blah. Peter is obliged to fire his blaster at him-- second verse, same as the first, and he convulses on the floor.

Peter can hear voices drifting down from the watchtower, and he has just enough time to grab Kasumi by the elbow, launching them both forward just as a hail of bullets rain down on them from above. He pulls them against the base of the tower, using the platform above them as cover from the snipers. ]

Any ideas on taking out the dickwads up there?

Elementary, my dear Quill.

[ She looks back out onto where they came out from inside, and waves her hand over in that direction. With the flash of a program on the back of her hand her decoy reappears, every bit as sassy and agile as the real Kasumi as it moves across the space in front of them, making like it's dodging bullets and generally being an awesome distraction. She will never not be grateful for this piece of programming genius. ]

And now we pay the guys upstairs a little visit.

-- I've gotta admit. That is a damn neat trick.

[ And even if the look on his face doesn't show it, his voice at least sounds suitably impressed.

He casts around for a second before he locates the set of stairs winding up to the watchtower's main platform and starts heading up, taking two steps at a time.. As good as Kasumi's decoy is, he figures they don't have too much time before A) it runs out and/or B), the guards wise up to the deception and start looking for them in earnest. ]

Thanks. It's one of my favorites.

[ Sure enough, the decoy starts to fizzle out as Kasumi follows Peter in heading up the watch tower, and there's an audible ruckus from upstairs as they approach when it fades out completely (mostly frustrated yelling along the lines of "It was a goddamn decoy!" and "Find that bitch!" which is one of Kasumi's favorites, because they almost never do). She's following closely behind Peter, her pistol unholstered and in her hands, ready to dole out some mad hurt on these guys. ]

Here they come.

[ WOW those Cerberus lackeys do not get to talk about his friend/crush/fake wife/what the fuck are they even right now??/partner that way.

So when the guards appear at the landing above them, Peter takes two running steps forward then jumps as he triggers the jets on his boots. He extends his arms, clothes-lining the both of them while they're still surprised by his and Kasumi's presence. They sprawl out on the ground as he's getting his feet back under him, and he skids to a stop at the top of the stairs. Twisting back around to face the fallen guards, he blasts them both with bolts of electricity from his gun, just for good measure, and they twitch and scream and go still.

There's not much time to gloat, though -- there are still several more guards in the watchtower, after all, and they'll need to be taken care of. ]

[ Yeah wow what a bunch of a-holes, but thanks for taking care of that buddy/cutie/fake husband/yeah who knows??/partner. She moves quickly over and past the newly-toasted guards that Peter had so kindly taken care of, joining him at the top of the stairs. ]

Nicely done, sir--[ It's almost immediately after that, however, that she hears the oddly piercing sound of a laser sight and she sure enough notices it tracking onto Peter. ]

Sniper! [ She doesn't have time to think before she acts on instinct by trying to grab him by the arm and pull him out of the way. ]

Wha-- [ He doesn't even get a chance to finish the word before she's yanking him out of the way -- and lucky that she did, since that shot most definitely was meant to go for his heart. Unfortunately for the two of them, Peter isn't the most graceful person -- which means that he loses his balance and topples forward, practically on top of her.

(CONCUSSION PREQUEL? He sure hopes not, in a meta-sense.)

He doesn't have time to check if she's alright, though, because he hears that same high-pitched noise charging up. Rolling off, he brings his blaster to bear on the sniper, and a lance of fire from his gun shoots through the air and strikes the man in the face.

Prick.

Peter gets to his feet quickly and offers a hand to Kasumi. ]

Shit, sorry. You okay?

Yeah, I'm good.

[ Thankfully no concussions between these two (yet). In any case, she takes his hand and pulls herself up, but something's not quite right in this picture. Kasumi has the vaguest sense of being watched and of something--someone--lurking about. And for Kasumi to have that sort of feeling could only mean one thing, really.

Those copycats are around.

Sure enough, when she turns on the ball of her heel and sets off a chain overload with her omni-tool there's a flash that awfully resembles a human being nearby, and the shriek of pain that rings through the hall just about confirms it. Then the sparks are gone and so is the cloaked figure, but Kasumi's eye is quick enough--and she knows this tech like the back of her hand--that when she fires her pistol at a seemingly empty spot a crouching female in a Cerberus suit emerges from tactical cloak. She's got a katana in one hand and what looks like a blaster attachment on the palm of her other hand, but frankly Kasumi doesn't care enough to see what tricks this chick's got up her sleeve, which is why she's promptly deploying her omni-blade and lunging at the Phantom. ]

[ ... Holy shit, Kasumi being a badass is kind of hot as hell??? But now is neither the time nor the place, because he hears the strange sound of humming and warping, and instinct alone saves him from getting a face full of biotic whip.

Peter only just manages to duck when the dragoon swings the lash, aiming for his neck, but the guy seriously doesn't let up. He swings again, going for Peter's legs this time, and Peter's forced to jump back, using his rockets to get himself farther away. He's getting the distinct impression that close quarters combat is exactly what this guy wants, so maybe he should keep his distance. ]

Hope you don't need help over there. [ He manages to call out to Kasumi while simultaneously staying on the move. The guy he's fighting is fast as hell, and apparently he can cover just as much ground as Peter can, judging by his leaps. ]

Nope! Doing pretty great over here! [ she says as she ducks down to dodge a swing of the katana by the phantom. Kasumi might have had an easier time with this if her opponent didn't have some bullshit barrier that prevented her from inflicting any real damage from time to time. But as it is, she's slipping in and out of her tactical cloak rapidly, hoping to be nimble and fast enough to confuse the phantom and gain more of the upper hand.

Sure enough, she sees an opening to slip around behind her opponent as she tries another swing at Kasumi. God, the way she flourishes after every slash is not only totally unnecessary, it's just downright ineffective is the thought that goes through her mind as her omni-blade glows orange and she slips out of stealth, landing a quick, precise strike right down the center of the phantom's back with one arm and firing her pistol twice just to be sure. When the phantom's drops to the floor and to her death, Kasumi turns to find Peter leaping around with a dragoon. ]

Seriously, when did Cerberus get all these specialists? And they definitely stole the invisibility idea from me. There's just no way. [ She's similarly calling out to Peter as she's making her way over to provide backup. ]

[ He's ducking beneath another swing of a charged lash, trying to move farther away from the guy's range -- but the dragoon keeps leaping after him, which is seriously not fair. ]

Yeah, okay. [ He sounds totally impatient. ] God damn those copycats, what a bunch of-- whoa!-- What a bunch of poseurs. Whatever. Can I please get-- Shit! [ Peter launches himself to the side as the dragoon lunges at him, smashing into the ground where Peter was standing only seconds ago. ]

Can I please some help here?!

Coming, dear, just be patient! [ The "dear" is in reference to their fake marriage, of course. She's watching the dragoon's pattern of movement (which is basically "leap after target," so it wasn't that difficult of a pattern, but she's paying close attention to his timing) and, after one more leap, she deploys her decoy. Decoy Kasumi slips right into the dragoon's line of movement as he lands and real Kasumi disappears into her cloak. The sudden appearance of an obstacle throws him off of his momentum enough to buy real Kasumi time to catch up.

While the decoy executes some pretty convincing evasive maneuvers as the dragoon tries to lash out at it, unfortunately the eventual contact his whip makes with the decoy causes it to fizzle out. Fortunately, Kasumi's rigged the decoy to detonate upon destruction, and the modest blast knocks the dragoon back a few feet.

Real Kasumi reappears then, targeting the stumbling fellow for a does of overload and shouting over to Peter: ]

All yours, partner!

[ It's a testament to his faith in Kasumi that he stops dodging the second her decoy shows up (and he knows it's a decoy, because there's no way in hell she'd confront the guy face-to-face, when that's exactly where he'd want her. She's smarter than that.)

So when Kasumi Proper reveals herself and sends the guy stumbling, Peter takes his cue and shoots a blast of electricity followed soon after with a lance of fire from his two guns, then leaps forward, closing the space between them. He drives his boot into the guy's chest as he's still reeling and presses his button for his jets. The force of the rocket sends the guy over the edge of the watchtower, and the momentum makes Peter spin briefly before the rocket dies of its own accord.

He takes a moment to examine their surroundings, catching his breath, before giving her a thumbs up. ]

Thanks for the assist.

[ She gives him a salute in return, managing a small laugh in between deep breaths of her own. ]

Not a problem. [ A beat. ] But seriously, they copied me.

Edited (mistakes are what happen when i tag at 2:42am) 2014-11-16 07:42 (UTC)

[ She can't see it, but Peter's rolling his eyes when she says that. Eventually he walks over and puts a hand on her shoulder. ]

Of course they did, Partner. Of course they did.

[ She looks over the edge of the watchtower. By now the residents are congregating below, some confused and some in a panic, and the guards down below seem similarly disarrayed; Kasumi figures that they must know by now what's going on below, but weren't anticipating a mess above either. ]

Let's keep going. They've really annoyed me now.

[ She starts toward a nearby door, presuming it to be where the rest of these fools were hiding and probably waiting to ambush them. ]

[ He follows along behind her, guns prepped and at the ready, and mutters, ] Hell hath no fury like a master thief scorned.

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go to bed 8|

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