Well, I did. She was - [And his hand clenches right around his wrist, aware of what a terrible choice of word this is now but unable to think of another.] - alive, somewhere everyone else out there died a long time ago. And that place was dying in me too.
[He swallows, eyes once again unable to stay fixed on any one point for too long.]
(A question that comes not to dismiss what John's saying, but to follow up on it. John should know fully well what Petre is. Sociopath. Unable to process emotions like any other person can. He's never claimed he wanted to anyway, but he is a creature made of curiosity, and that has more often led to the destruction of others rather than his own.)
[It's not all insult. Petre is at least complex, and that's something John can appreciate in someone. Simplicity is often tied to ignorance, which is exactly what he mistook Siobhan's bliss for in the early stages.]
Anyway. Turned out she was the most alive 'cause she was the one actually dying. Not sick, but dying. So there's a tip if you wanna see if you've got it and need a jumpstart.
She could. [He shrugs, and that, along with the words that follow, are more deliberately casual. Nearly forced.] And then we would've had a stupid, messy, overdramatic breakup and we'd be glaring at each other across classrooms to this day. Happily ever after.
(Don't the vast majority of them end up that way? It's why Petre thinks it's just better to never get into that kind of mess. It's why Petre will never have one of those marks on his arm.)
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
no subject
You are such a shitty liar.
no subject
[Deflection shield go?]
no subject
no subject
I told you about her. You can drop it now.
no subject
[this is fun, John.]
no subject
[He's rubbing insistently at his wrist, as though it hurts. And it does, feels like a real wound for the first and only time in his life.]
no subject
Do parents get marks for their kids?
no subject
Only if they're sickos. You don't fall in love with your kid.
no subject
[he's sounding nonchalant. He isn't even being suggestive or perverse about it.]
Ask them to choose between their husbands and their child.
no subject
[He can't even muster anger at that particular insult to his life. Just flat indifference.]
no subject
[Whatever. His mother could've hated his guts for all he cares.]
Someone chose for mine.
no subject
He turns to look at Petre, still rubbing that spot on his wrist.]
It didn't work on me anyway. I mean, I felt it, but I didn't let it get to me. That's why she was always after me.
no subject
He arches his brows briefly.]
Why not?
no subject
[Despite the harshness of the words, his voice is taking on a nostalgic tone.]
no subject
no subject
no subject
You do have the mark to prove it.
no subject
[He swallows, eyes once again unable to stay fixed on any one point for too long.]
Didn't even know it was there before her.
no subject
(A question that comes not to dismiss what John's saying, but to follow up on it. John should know fully well what Petre is. Sociopath. Unable to process emotions like any other person can. He's never claimed he wanted to anyway, but he is a creature made of curiosity, and that has more often led to the destruction of others rather than his own.)
no subject
[It's not all insult. Petre is at least complex, and that's something John can appreciate in someone. Simplicity is often tied to ignorance, which is exactly what he mistook Siobhan's bliss for in the early stages.]
Anyway. Turned out she was the most alive 'cause she was the one actually dying. Not sick, but dying. So there's a tip if you wanna see if you've got it and need a jumpstart.
no subject
(Isn't that a beautifully tragic story.)
no subject
[That's totally genuine. He doesn't hold her up as "the one" in any way, shape, or form - just "the only one" thus far.]
no subject
(Lacing his fingers on his stomach. Guess John knew better after all.)
She could be here with you, right now. In this school.
no subject
no subject
(Don't the vast majority of them end up that way? It's why Petre thinks it's just better to never get into that kind of mess. It's why Petre will never have one of those marks on his arm.)
I'll remember that story.
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)