aubergines | ( #002 ) FAKE MARRIED AU

[ As soon as he moves his hand out of the way, her omni-tool glows as she goes in and starts applying Medi-Gel to his wound to stop the bleeding and close it up. ]

Hold still, alright? Fortunately for you, turning into a husk isn't really quite like turning into zombies in the movies. You'd either have to be impaled on a giant Reaper stake... or piss Cerberus off and get zapped into one, apparently.

Oh, good. [ He says it in a flat voice. ] I'm feeling a lot more reassured. Thanks, Goto.

[ All the same, he sighs in relief when the Medi-Gel gets to work, and a lot of the tenseness goes out of him. He shuts his eyes and tips his head back against the elevator wall. ]

If I turn into one of those things, make sure Rocket does not get free rein of my ship. And make sure Drax doesn't pilot. Actually, you know what? Just make sure Gamora gets the ship. She won't fuck it up.

[ He's joking, of course. No one gets his ship. ]

[ The wicked smile on her face says, why would I want to do that when I could just take it for myself?. First the Milano, then the Normandy. Obviously. ]

Gamora gets the ship. Got it. Maybe you can leave that on a post-it somewhere on the ship too, just in case.

[ By now the medi-gel application is finished, but she's taking another look at his wound just to make sure it's good to go. ]

I've really gotta work on a will.

[ The Medi-Gel's done its job and done it well, it seems, at least judging by the fact that Peter's expression has smoothed out from its pained grimace. His shirt, though, is another story; it's splattered with blood -- some of it his own, but most of it from close quarters combat with Husks. ]

When we get back up, we should, you know. Probably avoid public areas.

She nodded, "And while I'd like to say that there's not much trouble that he could get into in that time, this is Tony we're talking about." She sighed, checking over lodging arrangements and travel times once more, "Alright. That's all in order." She nodded then, more to herself than anything, "Right, as long as we're at the airport by six PM, everything else will line up like it should."

She rubbed at her temple, "Six hour time difference between here and there, and about an eighteen hour travel time, there weren't any direct flights, so we've got one layover, Zurich for an hour, and then train from Luxemburg City to Trier itself. So all that's left now is to pack."

[ She steps away from him when she sees his relief and just in time, the elevator is slowing (as it can apparently go even slower) to a stop as they reach the upper floor. ]

I mean, that's a cake walk for me. Maybe you should invest in a tactical cloak sometime, Quill.

Anyway, I'm not too worried. I suspect that a lot of guards that we'd otherwise run into are kind of. Predisposed to dealing with the craziness downstairs, yeah?

I'm thinkin' more about the civilians screaming bloody murder and mobbing me.

[ Again, joking, but he does look, like, super gross. Husks are the worst, he decides, as he steps out of the elevator. ]

We should get the place evacuated. Nuke the entire thing from orbit.

We could. [ She follows him out of the elevator, but turns around with her omni-tool out again, jamming it into the nearby console so the elevator ceases to be functional.

Now usually she would avoid becoming too embroiled in an incident like nuking a settlement, but this? This is screwed up, and it's Cerberus, so she wouldn't feel bad if it came down to that. She did take part in a whole suicide mission that amounted to Shepard giving the Illusive man a big fat middle finger as she blew up the Collector Base, after all, so she's got no problems blowing Cerberus things up. ]

Let's get these people out of here.

How the hell are we gonna stage a mass evacuation without it being suspi--

[ He interrupts himself with a thoughtful, "Hm."

There are a few things that Peter Quill missed out on, being kidnapped and taken from Earth as a child. School dances, for one. Midterms and finals and finishing term papers five minutes before they're due, for another. The Disney Renaissance. MP3 players. Touch screen phones.

But one of the things he really missed out on was high school pranks. (He doesn't know it, but his class' senior prank had been pretty tame -- filling the hallways with hay and calling it good.) And, you know? One of the things he's always wanted to do was set off the fire alarm.

It's probably why he's grinning and locating the closest fire alarm trigger. ]

Ready?

[ fitz goes still, looking up to stare at ward. the anger's far from gone, but he's done a fairly good job of pushing it back and honing a cool neutrality. he's a professional. professionals don't have emotional breakdowns in front of their enemies. ]

You have... [ his brow furrows as he mulls over the list. they'd searched him; they'd been searching nearly everyone, using some odd body scan. but ward had just breezed through, and the alien who'd been interrogating fitz had laid off when ward showed up, which is— ]

What are you doing here?

[ as much as he'd like it to sound accusatory, there's a candid, searching lilt to it. ]

[ What Kasumi had in mind was definitely more elaborate, and probably needlessly complicated for a situation like this where they have to get people out and do it now. Surely, hacking into the intercom system and coming up with some other reason that refugees (or rich cowards, whichever) had to evacuate might have taken a little more time and finesse is the least of their worries right now.

So while at first she looks uncertain, she's quickly and wholeheartedly nodding her head at him. ]

Go for it.

Helping you out.

[ it's pointed, because he knows exactly what fitz really means. he holds into his screwdriver, turning it in his palms. ]

I don't actually know, otherwise. I think the word is abducted.

[ that's not exactly new to him. but he's had a variety of dealings with a variety of aliens, both as part of shield and after falling out of its favor, so to speak. ]

They asked me a lot of questions about Skye and Raina. If I give you this, are you going to try and do something stupid with it?

[ he doesn't mean stupid like hardware hacking into alien tech so he can talk to the team. he's talking more along the lines of leaving ward helpless in an airless prison cell, clutching at his own throat as he tried desperately to take even one breath. ]

Henry Potter? Merlin no. No child of mine will carry that name.

[ Somehow, his grin widens as he yanks at the alarm. And just like moments ago, sirens go off, and the lights along the hallways start flashing an angry red. Over the intercoms, a recorded message in a calm, accented woman’s voice advises people not to panic, and to make their way to the closest exit.

Peter tries to hide his disappointment. He was kind of hoping the sprinklers would go off, too, but that’s neither here nor there. He grabs Kasumi by the hand and starts leading them away – though he doesn’t really have a destination in mind. ]

What’s the plan?

[His stupid family, he curses silently for probably the hundredth time since he found out about the money. When she made the trust fund, his great aunt probably thought that he was going to end up married to Laurel, everyone thought that and that's part of why he ran, why it's so... awkward to pretend to be married to her now.

Because a little part of him that he is firmly trying to ignore, wants it to be real. And another part of him wants to run the other way.]

We could do this all night. [Putting themselves down and being weird around each other and pretending like the elephant isn't in the room.]

But I think I'd rather get dinner.

Because.

[That's her reason and she's sticking to it. Or not. MJ huffs out a sigh because he's got a point, even if he does owe her times a million. She can't just throw him to the wolves blind.]

I don't go by Mary Jane Parker-Watson, so that'd be kind of hard to explain, now wouldn't it?

[Plus if you asked her, Peter Watson sounds much better than Mary Jane Parker does. MJ Parker. It doesn't flow. That's not something she thinks about a lot, no way. There's not doodles of her name and his names and hearts in her day planner or anything like that. It's just a fact of life and maybe she'll stop thinking about this now.]

And look, I'm not proud of it, but this gross reporter for this magazine wouldn't stop bugging me to go out with him but he's like the one to make or break a girl's career in this town, you know?

[She wants it so bad, to succeed. To be famous. To work on Broadway for the rest of her life and have people fawn over her. She wants it and this whole thing seems silly and stupid when it's said out loud but she's always been a little bit of both and she doesn't care. This is her career, it's the only thing besides the boy in the suit standing next to her that she's really ever wanted.]

So I told him I was married, to you and try and look really jealous and possessive too, alright? Please. Pretty please.

[ there's a flicker of interest in his expression at the names; skye's not entirely surprising, but raina is. the explanation doesn't earn much, otherwise. fitz isn't entirely sure he believes it. ]

Did you tell them anything?

[ that one's accusatory. it's also completely avoiding the question, because fitz gets the implication. the problem is that he doesn't know quite what the answer is — wants to see ward locked up just as much as he wants things to be like they used to be, knows that's a stupid, childish impulse. it's the reason the bite in his voice ends up more defensive than cagey. ]

[ She tilts her head at him, since his question has an obvious answer. ]

Get the hell out of here and plow through whatever else gets in our way?

[ Sass aside, luckily he grabbed the hand she doesn't need to use her omni-tool, so she uses that the pull up the schematics again. ]

Not sure if there's a more covert way out, unless you're still up for crawling through vents. Otherwise, we basically come out the way we came in. Or blow a hole in the wall--whichever, really.

[ ok but important: ]

Who says we're taking your last name?

Woman, you are bloody insane if you think the children and I are taking yours.

[ somewhere deep down she's incredibly amused that he's so upset about this fictitious marriage and these hypothetical babies. but on the surface (she looks calm and ready, to drop bombs but she keeps on forgetting what she wrote down — ) lydia's ready to fight him on this. ]

Why do you have to be so old fashioned?

[It's not his fault she's got idiotic ideas. James Martin might as well be the most Muggle name to ever Muggle. James doesn't buy much into that pureblooded, wizard superiority nonsense but he does really enjoy being a wizard.]

Think of McGonagall, would you. She lives to yell at Potters. And Blacks but we all know that Sirius isn't ever going to father a child. I think his nads don't work right, shooting blanks you know, but you didn't hear that from me. What would she yell instead? Martin? Doesn't have the same ring. The kids will be so ashamed.

Or maybe, you know, our kids aren't going to be horrible little trouble makers like you and your best friend.

[ The idea of going through the vents makes his skin crawl -- not that he'd ever admit it aloud. ]

I'm up for whatever's easiest, honestly. I'm easy like Sunday mornin'.

Well at the very least you might want to practice pretending that you're used to it, or holding back the wide-eyed reactions. Come on, let's take a peek at the rest, hm?

[She tugs at him by his sleeve then lets go to head into the bedroom. Its interior is as luxurious as the living room area. Wanda runs her hands over the foot of the bed with a sigh before heading over to the bathroom to find--oh gosh, a beautiful spa-style bathtub.]

I'm really sorry if I disappear in here for a few hours!

[This she calls over her shoulder, investigating the complimentary soaps as she hums to herself.]

( #002 ) FAKE MARRIED AU

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