aubergines | ( #002 ) FAKE MARRIED AU

If father hears of this-

[Suffice to say, Thor currently would like to kill all witnesses and head back to Asgard. But no. Pretend married. Thanks, Loki.]

[He always thought his family had a sick sense of humor and it's proven when a great-aunt on his father's side who has spoken maybe ten words to him in his entire life passes and leaves the bulk of her fortune to him and Thea-- except that it's kept in trusts until their wedding days.

Normally Oliver would laugh it off and forget about it, except that he's getting a little desperate for cash. Not just him, not just trying to support himself because he doesn't need a place to sleep and his friends are pretty good at forcing him to take food when it's offered and he isn't interested in throwing any lavish parties any time soon. But being a vigilante is a thankless job, and he's realizing how much he relied on his family's money to even start it in the first place.

Sure, he can make a bow and arrows from things laying around a hotel room. But it's not as good, and it's not a long term solution and the simple fact is that he needs cash just to manufacture his arrows much less to replace the things that break.

He could ask Felicity for this little scheme but it's been tense enough around her lately that he knows it will just make it worse between them and he feels they're already treading on a thin line. Instead he goes to Laurel, who will also think it rather stupid and silly but who is practical enough to pretend to be his wife on a trip to Bludhaven so he can be rich again.

She's also a lawyer and knows how to make the documents look real.]

Thanks again for going along with this. [Oliver says as he sets his suitcase down on the bed. The one bed. Because what married couple asks for a suite with two queens.]

You can have the bed. I don't mind. [And he still honestly prefers the floor.]

[Infiltrating an exclusive invite-only party for high-ranking members of government and their friends? Easy. Skye has hacked her way on to the guest list in minutes.

Pretending to be someone who belongs at such a party on her own? More difficult. It's not the sort of party to which journalists or low-ranking admin girls are invited. Nope. For this, she'll need to pretend to be slightly older than she is. And married. And she's pretty sure Loki's the only person she knows who would both agree to this and be able to pull it off. Both things are important.

So when the driver comes around to open her side of the car door in the fancy car she rented for the night, it's in a flowing white and gold dress that is definitely outside of her pay range. It's not her usual style, but it's appropriate for the sort of people at this party and it's easy to move around in. Her hair is in a fancy updo for once, and one hand clasps a designer clutch she hopes the security guards won't ask to look through. She extends a hand to Loki, smiling through her nerves.

The exterior of this immensely lavish house that stands before them isn't helping her any. But first things first: they have to pass security.]

Whoo. This was a bad idea. This was an absolutely terrible idea. Okay, I'm ready. Are you ready? Let's do this.

Edited 2014-10-28 01:31 (UTC)

[so basically... canon??]

[i'm sorry]

[ When he'd come to the states, there had been no set plan for him and Jack had no true idea of what he was going to do. For a while what he "did" wasn't much of anything — besides explore and self-discover. He'd had funds to keep him afloat, enough to throw away on frivolous things and have a good time. They hadn't run out, but he'd found his way back to Brock all the same.

And now here they were. Living together and eventually working together. It was grating. No question about that. They squabbled and fussed enough like an old married couple that when a particular mission reared its matrimonial head, they were the first ones on the burning tips of wagging tongues. If he spent time on it, he would find it in himself to hate them, do something out of spite to make himself feel better — which would likely entail some form of light torture. Because the last thing he wants to pretend is that he's married.

Nevermind it's something he assumed he'd never have in the manner he truly wished. Now it's given to him under the utmost of false pretenses. He is Jack's seething rage.

But, he goes along with the scheme. It's field work; times such as these are reminiscent of being battle. This is as close to the military as he's ever going to be again, so he'll take it. The mission perimeters are simple — a cut-and-dry job that should have them in and out within 72 hours. Likely less considering the team they have. Thankfully, it's within a world Jack knows enough about that he's comfortable reinstating his royal attitude.

They're staying in Cannes, a penthouse suite, courtesy of HQ, and the story that they're celebrating a five year anniversary — renewing their vows on the beach ("It's a little silly, I know, but c'est la vie.").

Most of the day was spent sleeping as their work will begin at night: surveillance for now, action tomorrow. Unless something goes wrong. Jack feels right at home in a plush white bathrobe that's soft as a cloud hanging loosely on his body, as he moves through the suite as if he owns it. He is pure sophistication and grace as he lands rather heavily on the couch beside Brock, drinking the champagne (that room service brought up with a plate of chocolate covered fruits — comped) straight from the bottle. For a few moments he just leans against him with his eyes watching the various screens in front of them to scan for the targets. Then he sighs and takes a long (long) drink of the champagne. ]

I hope you remember your vows— [ He sniffs; it's followed by a slow pass of his tongue over his lips to collect the remaining alcohol. ] —otherwise, I'm divorcing you on the spot.

[For a job, maybe, for fun, definitely.]

[Gotta get him used to undercover work somehow, right?]

[Look, she's done this before, she also makes a pretty convincing dude if necessary.]

[Fake-married is one of his favorite games.]

[He sucks at undercover work, but 'mistaken for married and just going with it' is a thing he'd do.]

[ If Most Likely to Die a Bachelor had been a superlative in his high school’s yearbook, Brock would have likely carried the unanimous vote. And that had been before the military and the things he’d seen in combat had warped him. Before Hydra had gotten its tentacles around him and twisted him even further. If he felt like it, in the rare moment of downtime between playing loyal SHIELD lapdog and Hydra’s snarling attack monster, he might enjoy a quick, casual, meaningless fuck. But he didn’t have relationships. He certainly didn’t think about marriage.

Until a stopover in some weird-ass, ultra conservative religious clusterfuck of a country had inadvertently brought about a mid-life crisis of Biblical proportions.

He doesn’t know who suggested them for the mission, but he suspects—deep down in the depths of his cold, dark soul he knows—that it was Rollins. What he really doesn’t know, will likely never know, is whether it was meant as a joke or if it was supposed to be a subtle, subtle, kick in the ass. All he’s actually clear on is that it pisses Jack off, and that, in turn, pisses him off. Because an angry Jack is an even more difficult Jack to live with than usual and the last thing he needs right now is another domestic disturbance complaint filed against him with the police department.

It was one, albeit very loud argument, in the middle of the street at an unfortunate time of night that happened three months ago. The Johnsons really need to get the fuck over it already.

Brock won’t say it out loud, but it’s actually kind of fun, all this cloak and dagger undercover shit with Jack. It’s like the best parts of Hydra without all the bowing and scraping and whispering little code phrases into the ears of others like long lost lovers. He likes the activity, the hint of danger, the thrill of adrenalin, and it’s nice to have someone at his back again that he trusts. The mission’s cover’s a little hokey, sure, but he’s confident they can manage.

If they don’t start fighting over something trivial in the middle of it.

Although he’s not a fluffy bathrobe kind of guy, there’s one in the room for him and since it’s there, he figures he may as well use it. He doesn’t wear it as second-skin comfortably as Jack, he’d never had this kind of luxury often enough prior to their life together for it to be anything other than a novelty, but he can’t deny that it feels nice against his skin. He casts a sidelong direction Jack’s way as he makes his way over to the couch, biting the inside of his lip against the smile as he sits down, and decides to patiently wait him out until he makes the quip.

Looping his arm around Jack’s shoulders, Brock tugs him closer, turning his head and favoring him with the kind of beatific smile he assumes a married man would give a husband he felt so passionately about that he wanted to renew their vows on a beach in the middle of France. ]

Oh, darling, I couldn’t possibly forget them. [ In order to give it just enough ring of authenticity to throw Jack off, Brock lets a hint of his genuine feelings creep into his voice as he heaps some exaggerated sappiness into it. ] They’re etched in my heart right alongside my love for you.

[MJ gets herself into this corner, she can admit that. But that doesn't mean she is going to refrain from dragging Peter down with her. He's her best friend, the only best friend she's ever had in her whole life, if someone is going down with her, then it has to be him. In the name of friendship.

And she may have told a rather pushy, inappropriate, annoying but really prominent, career making or breaking journalist that no she couldn't go on a date with him because she was married and her husband would totally kick his ass. She can't call him the creep that she wants to, not when he holds the future of her Broadway career in the palm of his greasy hand, a good review from him means everything to actresses in this town but she's not willing to sleep with him for a good review because gross and also her dignity and also no freaking way. She's wanted to be an actress since she was a little girl and that's finally, finally coming true.

The lie just spreads from there, and one thing leads to another and she has no choice but to agree to bring Peter to a party for the magazine. That's tonight. He knows he has to go to this thing with her for work but he doesn't know the full story. She's left him in the dark for as long as she can with that, until it's time to go and squaring her shoulders, MJ slides a ring onto her left hand. Then grabbing Peter's left hand and doing the same.

Just let it happen, spider boy. She's sure that he owes her, for all the times that he's ditched her or made her wait and worry.]

I need a favor. Be Mister Watson for a night, alright?

[On a hunt with a partner? Just needs cover and you're convenient? Both of these and many others are likely.]

[He's a doting fake-husband, take advantage.]

[you need help getting an inheritance? He's your man, for a small fee.]

[We already know he can do this.]

( #002 ) FAKE MARRIED AU

Tris Prior | Divergent

Jim Kirk | Star Trek AOS

Padmè Amidala | Star Wars

Bonnie Bennett | Vampire Diaries

mary jane watson | the amazing spiderman

james potter | that series about wizards

Re: Loki (Agent of Asgard) | Marvel 616

no subject

Stephanie Brown | DC comics | Ota

idk continuity

katniss everdeen | the hunger games

peter parker | the amazing spider-man

no subject

kate fuller ✝ from dusk till dawn

Apollo | Inception OC | OTA

Steve Rogers | MCU | OTA

Anne Bonney / Pirate of legend and yore \ OTA

Zepar | fallen angel OC | OTA

Clint 'Hawkeye' Barton - MCU - OTA

no subject

no subject

Betty Winchester (Supernatural demi-OC) - OTA

Eames (Inception) - OTA

Rob Fellows aka: Robin Goodfellow (Cal Leandros series) OTA

Phil Coulson | MCU | OTA