[John is more than used to the marks on his wrist by now. The red one gave him a lot of grief at Xavier's, but he just tilted his chin and told people in a high, haughty tone that it was from before he arrived. No one there was worth his time. Bobby was harder to convince, since he saw John's wrist at closer range before the mark appeared and knew that it was fresh, but the way he never pressed too hard still makes John wonder if he had his suspicions. Everything else was certainly fair game.
Then again, knowing how thickheaded he was, he probably thought it was for Rogue. Dumbass.
Now there's a black one beside it, and sometimes he just fingers that mark lightly, smiling to himself. It'll become a scar one day, one day soon, but even that doesn't bother him so much because it'll be a lingering sign that Harry really did exist. They happened. It's only right that Harry should leave a physical mark on him to match the emotional one.
What he doesn't know about is the faint pink appearing below those two parallel marks, like suits in a deck of cards. It doesn't fit - there's no pink suit, and the suggestion of something he's either not realizing or not yet sure about is strange. He has Harry, and he's sure about Harry. What else is there? The familial love he gets from Tony? Then Pepper should be there too. Maybe even Steve. He'd appear to have Chicken Pox if everyone in the SHIELD program who had touched his life showed up as a love mark.
No, he doesn't get it. And he's sitting in the living room when Kitty enters, one finger sliding lightly over it, too absorbed in thought to realize what he's revealing.]
[She knows by now, that they shared one of those marks. Not with each other - well, one of hers is for John, she knows that, but she definitely doesn't know he could ever have one for her - with Bobby Drake. He was vague about it, apparently didn't want Kitty to figure it out, but he pretty much just had to say that he understood what it was like to have feelings for someone who was nice to everyone when they were both discussing him, so - it's not like it was a huge discovery. It made her feel so jealous, though. Even knowing he was taken didn't stop her from feeling somewhat possessive of her feelings toward him.
What she didn't quite get was that the jealousy was going both ways. Because Bobby had drawn in someone else's feelings. Because John had feelings for someone else. But John was also taken, so - ugh. What the hell is wrong with her?
She's so caught up in her thoughts that she doesn't expect to see anyone else when she walks in, brushing her own thumb over the marks. They're quickly hidden by the tug of her sleeve when she finally sees him, mouth parted like she's ready to say something and decides against it. Her hand goes up to brush her hair behind her ear. She's been wearing it down more often, ever since the boys told her she should. (Bobby said the same, but he never noticed.)]
[He glances up sharply, just in time to see her shift her sleeve, and that's perfectly in time with him doing the same. He's got an older shirt on, one that he now knows belonged to Bobby's little brother and wasn't purchased by one foster mother in a long string of them, but he still wears it sometimes. Odd that Harry hasn't gotten rid of it in his mass purge and replacement of John's wardrobe, but he's a bit relieved - it's a tiny piece of his past other than his lighter.
Other than Kitty, for that matter. Can't forget her.
The point is that there's a hole for his thumb to fit through at the end of the sleeve, and he tugs it right over, a bit more of a deliberate move than hers.]
Hey. Has he talked you into curling it yet? [An automatic reaction to her playing with her hair - oh snap, he noticed something Bobby didn't. Four for him.] He will. I actually let him blowdry and style my hair.
[That gets her a withering look, but not a very strong one. After a second, he pulls out his phone and starts flipping through a very slim selection of pictures before holding one up to Kitty - his hair basically looks like this, without the beard and with a much fouler expression.]
We just got back from Malibu. That's why it's so blond.
You think so? [He looks at it again. He's never had his eyes described as "super-blue." Harry's eyes are super-blue - John's are the colour of slate.] Must be the lighter hair.
And yeah, I smile sometimes.
[Reluctantly, he opens a new file - pictures that have been sent to him - and shows this one to her.]
Darcy got this one. God knows when - I mean, i remember the day, but not her taking the picture. Harry went crazy over it, but I look like such a fucking dork.
[She flicks her finger at his forehead. It's a relief to know he can actually be one. Always acting like he's so much cooler than he really is. It's charming in it's own way.
(KittynoKittystop.)
She's leaning a little now, expecting to be shown more.]
Oh god. You ever catch me doing duckface, I get put down on the spot like I deserve. [He's tucking away his phone now, because like he said, that was the last one.
He gives her a speculative look, though.]
Any worth a good laugh in your phone? [It's a minefield, given who could be in the older ones, but she'll decide whether or not to show those. They're still navigating the fact that they unknowingly loved the same person at the same time, something he mostly leaves to her because - well, she's the one still in contact with him to some degree. As far as he knows. He's carefully kept Bobby a memory despite all the insistences around him that he should meet the boy again face to face.]
Oh - [Uh. Her phone has pictures of animals. Her with Bobby, some other acquaintances at Xavier's. Definitely selfies with Tony in the lab, even if those are pretty old by now. And just selfies where she never smiles. She keeps forgetting to delete those.] Uhm. Let me see.
[She frowns as she pulls it out, tries to browse through anything embarrassing without letting John see. There. A picture of her with Tony. He's got his sunglasses on, giving the good old peace sign while she smiles bashfully.]
[He snorts, rolling his eyes with a good-natured smile.]
Tony. Don't ever tell anyone this, but - shit. I miss him.
[Then his eyes move down from the phone to her hand, and to her wrist. He can just see the tops of her three red marks, and they make him furrow his brow in surprise and confusion. No teasing - he's genuinely baffled.]
Three? [He edges her sleeve down a bit with a hooked finger.]
[She agrees, and gives room for a moment of silence when suddenly it's John who breaks it. And oh, how he breaks it. The smile is completely gone from her lips as she snatches her hand back, covering the wrist. It's useless now, he's seen it. If she were a fast thinker she'd just try to play it cool, but - it's definitely too late for that.]
They're never nothing. [And he's remarkably insensitive at the best of times, but he tries to soft-pedal this one despite his intense curiosity.] Who else? Piotr? You guys were friends, right?
[But did she have that one before? The one part of his life that has no mental obstructions and he can't draw up a clear image of her wrist a month ago. A week ago. Two days ago. Has he ever looked at it?]
Curious? [He shrugs, the gesture genuine.] We're getting to know each other now, right? Not like any of this can be kept all that secret with the love tattoos.
[After a moment's thought, he unloops the end of his sleeve from his thumb and pushes it up. There's Bobby, still bright as a sunset, and the strange pink one forming below it, but he points to Harry's.]
It's already starting to scar. That's a nice thing to look at every day. [Sure enough, there are little ridges of upraised white tissue all along the border of the mark. Like it's preparing for the day when it will appear like a recently healed wound, and then something older but never forgotten.]
[Maybe they are, but Kitty's still Kitty and she's deathly afraid of having her heart broken and being embarrassed. Which is a given, seeing as how she keeps falling for the wrong guy. Over and over again.
Her focus softens a little when he shows her his, though. She wasn't expecting that, so she glances over and watches the scarring one. That's an awful reminder to have.]
He sees everything. [A statement that could be suggestive and awkward for Kitty at any other time, but puts naked in a whole new light with context behind it - not nude so much as laid bare.] Not like he doesn't know. We're both - I want the scar there.
[A tiny twist of pain in his voice, but he shakes it off, fingering the pink spot again. Like he hasn't made up his mind, or more likely, hasn't figured it out. Both Bobby's and Harry's exploded to life without warning, Harry's much later than the feelings but only because they were buried to the point that he truly didn't realize them. This awareness must be at least slightly clearer.]
Is it your parents? [He's never heard of parental marks, but -] I don't get this one. All I can figure is that it's Tony, but I'm not in love with him, so -
[But then hers wouldn't be red if they were her parents either, would they?]
[There's a quiet nod; if that could ever be suggestive then Kitty doesn't even think about it. It's times like these that she gets a cold slap of reality to her face. They're both so deep together in what they have - to even dream about being a part of it is ludicrous, so instead she just lets envy burn in her heart. She's always wanted something like that, as tragic as they are. What a petty little girl.
She's surprised to hear him talk about his third mark, though. He's so secretive about his feelings - with the exception of Harry - that she just assumed it'd be someone from his past that was once again none of her business. But like he said: getting to know each other.
(She'll never admit that it's making her heart flutter a little.)]
No. That's - that's not how it works. Believe me.
[A contradictory little huff, smile sad. She's had plenty of time to think about it, to figure it out.]
[Insensitive, not terribly full of empathy, but not stupid. He's seen her interact with Harry a few times, some of them rather intimate, and the way her expression keeps shifting helps to fill the gap on one of them.]
You're in love with Harry.
[Surprisingly, his answer is a smile. Harry isn't unlike Bobby in some ways, as much as he insisted they were nothing alike - he's got that same ability to make anyone who comes near him feel special. Like everything he offers is just for them. John was just lucky enough to be right this one time.]
It's cool. I think everyone who meets him is, on some level.
[Her gaze darts right back to John when he speaks up, guilt and embarrassment flooding her immediately. She wants to shrink down to invisibility. Fall right through the floor to hide.]
I don't - [Features shift again, uncomfortably, unpleasantly. Her brows are knitting and frowning.] It's not like that. It's not like I -
[- could ever think he'd love her back.
There's a sound, something like a groan, but just sadder than that. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Her face goes right into her hands, elbows on her knees. Augh, how will she ever tell him?]
You have shitty luck with who you fall for, that's what it's like.
[Real talk, but said with surprising gentleness. He was there, even if he's found better now. He knows it's no laughing matter.]
Well, no, obviously. [Who would embarrass her so much.] What, Tony? That's cool, too. Rich, powerful older man, people tell me he's cool and good-looking, it'd make sense.
[Sure, just twist the knife in her wound, why don't you.]
Oh my God, John - [she wants to smack him all over again. How does he always manage to draw that out of her? Tony, of all people? He's more like everyone's cool dad, not cool older boyfriend.
Never mind that. She smacks a fist on his shoulder and retracts the hand to cover herself.]
It's you, okay?
[This is it. Ready for shots to be fired so she can just be humiliated like she's never been before.]
I swear, if you say anything -
[Anything like 'sorry, I don't feel the same way' or whatever. She knows. She knows.]
[Okay, that was really wrong, enough to get another punch. His mouth is open, obviously ready to spew indignant nonsense, when she finally blurts it out and his jaw just drops kind of slack.
An old warning for him. If you say anything - because his nasty tongue is always ready to make someone feel as stupid as possible where there's weakness. But he's just stunned, wondering how he missed it again, and...
... and the mark on his own wrist just turned grey. The shift is slow enough that it catches his peripheral vision, and he turns his arm over more fully, just gaping in total disbelief.
That's why he couldn't figure out what he felt when they were all piled together and Harry and Kitty kept turning their attention to one another. Because he was jealous of both of them. Jesus fucking christ, this is getting beyond complicated.]
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RAMPAGING HERDS OF TEAL DEER
Then again, knowing how thickheaded he was, he probably thought it was for Rogue. Dumbass.
Now there's a black one beside it, and sometimes he just fingers that mark lightly, smiling to himself. It'll become a scar one day, one day soon, but even that doesn't bother him so much because it'll be a lingering sign that Harry really did exist. They happened. It's only right that Harry should leave a physical mark on him to match the emotional one.
What he doesn't know about is the faint pink appearing below those two parallel marks, like suits in a deck of cards. It doesn't fit - there's no pink suit, and the suggestion of something he's either not realizing or not yet sure about is strange. He has Harry, and he's sure about Harry. What else is there? The familial love he gets from Tony? Then Pepper should be there too. Maybe even Steve. He'd appear to have Chicken Pox if everyone in the SHIELD program who had touched his life showed up as a love mark.
No, he doesn't get it. And he's sitting in the living room when Kitty enters, one finger sliding lightly over it, too absorbed in thought to realize what he's revealing.]
hits ignore tbh
What she didn't quite get was that the jealousy was going both ways. Because Bobby had drawn in someone else's feelings. Because John had feelings for someone else. But John was also taken, so - ugh. What the hell is wrong with her?
She's so caught up in her thoughts that she doesn't expect to see anyone else when she walks in, brushing her own thumb over the marks. They're quickly hidden by the tug of her sleeve when she finally sees him, mouth parted like she's ready to say something and decides against it. Her hand goes up to brush her hair behind her ear. She's been wearing it down more often, ever since the boys told her she should. (Bobby said the same, but he never noticed.)]
--hey.
[What's he doing?]
but they're so majestic :'(
Other than Kitty, for that matter. Can't forget her.
The point is that there's a hole for his thumb to fit through at the end of the sleeve, and he tugs it right over, a bit more of a deliberate move than hers.]
Hey. Has he talked you into curling it yet? [An automatic reaction to her playing with her hair - oh snap, he noticed something Bobby didn't. Four for him.] He will. I actually let him blowdry and style my hair.
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Why am I not surprised? [That gives her the confidence to step over, take a seat on the couch.] You'll let him do anything.
[Not that it's a very huge accomplishment for Harry. He's a sneaky persuasive kinda guy.]
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[That gets her a withering look, but not a very strong one. After a second, he pulls out his phone and starts flipping through a very slim selection of pictures before holding one up to Kitty - his hair basically looks like this, without the beard and with a much fouler expression.]
We just got back from Malibu. That's why it's so blond.
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[It's a grin now, when she looks down at the phone screen and back up at him. She's slouching a little, arms leaning on her legs.]
You're smiling. [Another look, and -] Your eyes are super blue in that one.
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And yeah, I smile sometimes.
[Reluctantly, he opens a new file - pictures that have been sent to him - and shows this one to her.]
Darcy got this one. God knows when - I mean, i remember the day, but not her taking the picture. Harry went crazy over it, but I look like such a fucking dork.
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Yeah, you do look like a dork.
[She flicks her finger at his forehead. It's a relief to know he can actually be one. Always acting like he's so much cooler than he really is. It's charming in it's own way.
(KittynoKittystop.)
She's leaning a little now, expecting to be shown more.]
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[Alriiiight, one more. He pulls up the next one - same wall behind him, same messy hairstyle, same t-shirt.]
Lat one. This was her trying to teach me to pose, 'cause I hate getting my picture taken. F- on that one.
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[It's very much like them to say that about John. Well - Kitty doesn't really know Darcy at all, but it sounds like her.]
Ha! You needed to purse your lips more.
[She's kidding, of course. Narrowing her eyes and sucking in her cheeks to purse her own. True model face right here.]
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He gives her a speculative look, though.]
Any worth a good laugh in your phone? [It's a minefield, given who could be in the older ones, but she'll decide whether or not to show those. They're still navigating the fact that they unknowingly loved the same person at the same time, something he mostly leaves to her because - well, she's the one still in contact with him to some degree. As far as he knows. He's carefully kept Bobby a memory despite all the insistences around him that he should meet the boy again face to face.]
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[She frowns as she pulls it out, tries to browse through anything embarrassing without letting John see. There. A picture of her with Tony. He's got his sunglasses on, giving the good old peace sign while she smiles bashfully.]
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Tony. Don't ever tell anyone this, but - shit. I miss him.
[Then his eyes move down from the phone to her hand, and to her wrist. He can just see the tops of her three red marks, and they make him furrow his brow in surprise and confusion. No teasing - he's genuinely baffled.]
Three? [He edges her sleeve down a bit with a hooked finger.]
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[She agrees, and gives room for a moment of silence when suddenly it's John who breaks it. And oh, how he breaks it. The smile is completely gone from her lips as she snatches her hand back, covering the wrist. It's useless now, he's seen it. If she were a fast thinker she'd just try to play it cool, but - it's definitely too late for that.]
It's nothing.
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[But did she have that one before? The one part of his life that has no mental obstructions and he can't draw up a clear image of her wrist a month ago. A week ago. Two days ago. Has he ever looked at it?]
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[Because suddenly becoming defensive totally helps. She just puts her phone away, leans back on the couch with her arms crossed.]
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[After a moment's thought, he unloops the end of his sleeve from his thumb and pushes it up. There's Bobby, still bright as a sunset, and the strange pink one forming below it, but he points to Harry's.]
It's already starting to scar. That's a nice thing to look at every day. [Sure enough, there are little ridges of upraised white tissue all along the border of the mark. Like it's preparing for the day when it will appear like a recently healed wound, and then something older but never forgotten.]
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Her focus softens a little when he shows her his, though. She wasn't expecting that, so she glances over and watches the scarring one. That's an awful reminder to have.]
Has he seen it?
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[A tiny twist of pain in his voice, but he shakes it off, fingering the pink spot again. Like he hasn't made up his mind, or more likely, hasn't figured it out. Both Bobby's and Harry's exploded to life without warning, Harry's much later than the feelings but only because they were buried to the point that he truly didn't realize them. This awareness must be at least slightly clearer.]
Is it your parents? [He's never heard of parental marks, but -] I don't get this one. All I can figure is that it's Tony, but I'm not in love with him, so -
[But then hers wouldn't be red if they were her parents either, would they?]
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She's surprised to hear him talk about his third mark, though. He's so secretive about his feelings - with the exception of Harry - that she just assumed it'd be someone from his past that was once again none of her business. But like he said: getting to know each other.
(She'll never admit that it's making her heart flutter a little.)]
No. That's - that's not how it works. Believe me.
[A contradictory little huff, smile sad. She's had plenty of time to think about it, to figure it out.]
It's stupid.
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You're in love with Harry.
[Surprisingly, his answer is a smile. Harry isn't unlike Bobby in some ways, as much as he insisted they were nothing alike - he's got that same ability to make anyone who comes near him feel special. Like everything he offers is just for them. John was just lucky enough to be right this one time.]
It's cool. I think everyone who meets him is, on some level.
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I don't - [Features shift again, uncomfortably, unpleasantly. Her brows are knitting and frowning.] It's not like that. It's not like I -
[- could ever think he'd love her back.
There's a sound, something like a groan, but just sadder than that. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Her face goes right into her hands, elbows on her knees. Augh, how will she ever tell him?]
It's not just Harry.
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[Real talk, but said with surprising gentleness. He was there, even if he's found better now. He knows it's no laughing matter.]
Well, no, obviously. [Who would embarrass her so much.] What, Tony? That's cool, too. Rich, powerful older man, people tell me he's cool and good-looking, it'd make sense.
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Oh my God, John - [she wants to smack him all over again. How does he always manage to draw that out of her? Tony, of all people? He's more like everyone's cool dad, not cool older boyfriend.
Never mind that. She smacks a fist on his shoulder and retracts the hand to cover herself.]
It's you, okay?
[This is it. Ready for shots to be fired so she can just be humiliated like she's never been before.]
I swear, if you say anything -
[Anything like 'sorry, I don't feel the same way' or whatever. She knows. She knows.]
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An old warning for him. If you say anything - because his nasty tongue is always ready to make someone feel as stupid as possible where there's weakness. But he's just stunned, wondering how he missed it again, and...
... and the mark on his own wrist just turned grey. The shift is slow enough that it catches his peripheral vision, and he turns his arm over more fully, just gaping in total disbelief.
That's why he couldn't figure out what he felt when they were all piled together and Harry and Kitty kept turning their attention to one another. Because he was jealous of both of them. Jesus fucking christ, this is getting beyond complicated.]
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