aubergines | ( #002 ) FAKE MARRIED AU

[ He's peering at the schematics, and he's-- yeah, okay, he was actually joking about the ventilation vents thing, and his stomach sinks. ]

You sure I can fit through those things? I'm not exactly built like Gumby, you know.

I know--

[ With a few keystrokes on her omni-tool, another projection is superimposed onto the schematics. ]

--which is why this conveniently extensive network of underground passages are our second best bet. I'm sure we'll run into trouble, but at least we won't be tipping our hand too early on.

[ Oh, thank God, those passages look a lot roomier, and he sighs with relief. ]

Alright, sounds like a plan. I'm in the mood for punching some guys, anyway -- someone has to be punished for putting us through smalltalk.

[ She laughs and says in an obviously joking tone, ] Aw, but I'm going to miss being your pretend-wife.

--Anyway, like I said: let's stick together. They've done a surprisingly good job keeping the layout of the west wing under wraps, seeing as I can't get to them without probably setting something off, so once we get there, we'll have to be a little spontaneous but careful.

Please, Goto. Spontaneous is my middle name. Along with Danger and Handsome. It's hyphenated.

[ He checks his gear one more time, and as an afterthought, he shucks his coat and rolls up his sleeves for more freedom of movement. ] I'm gonna leave the careful part to you, though. That's more your wheelhouse.

[ It's then that she shuts off her omni-tool. ]

Yup. Just--seriously, be careful, okay? And don't get grabbed by the mechs.

[ She knows Peter's more than capable of holding his own, but something about this whole thing is so unsettling, she can't help it. ]

[ There's something in her tone that catches him by surprise. There's another joke on the tip of his tongue, but-- he decides to go for reassuring instead. ]

It'll be fine, Goto. It's not my first time at a rodeo -- and I've got you watching my back anyway, right? We'll be in and out in no time.

Of course, partner.

[ With that, she starts for the door to the quarters and looks back at him. ] Ready?

[ Naturally he follows, and the little rush of adrenaline makes him smirk. ] Ready as I'll ever be.

Let's do this.

[ When the door slides open, Kasumi's on her omni-tool almost immediately, waving it at a nearby surveillance camera to block them out and make sure they don't arouse any suspicions just stepping out into the hall. ]

One of those secret doors down the hall, around the corner. It leads down to one of the tunnels.

So try not to get spotted till then. Got it.

[ He heads down the hall, walking like he owns the place -- just in case a distant observer finds them suspicious. Their luck seems to hold when they don't meet anyone coming or going on this floor; maybe everyone's out doing activities?

And anyway, the less civilians involved the better. No need to deal with some random nine-year-old who happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. ]

What are we looking for here, exactly? Do I just, like, say "friend" and a door pops up?

[ It's with another wave of her omni-tool that a holographic console appears on the wall in red. ]

We're looking for that. It's easy to find hidden locks--just have to run the right algorithms. This one looks like it only opens using a signal from a special transmitter of sorts--probably on the staff or guards.

[ Meaning, they'll have to do some damage to get in. They probably figured DNA or voice recognition would be too easy to crack without being noticed; this way any infiltrators would basically have to confront someone. ]

[ He sighs a little. ] Wish we'd known that earlier before we geared up. Coulda probably nicked one pretty easily.

So-- think we can hack it? Or do you want me start a ruckus and attract a security guard up here?

[ She's still looking at her omni-tool's screen, seeing if she can crack the thing when the console on the door starts turning green. ]

Um, well. [ She looks at Peter: that wasn't me. ] Quill, someone's coming in from the other side.

[ Peter's reflexes have always been fast -- so once she says that, he grabs Kasumi by the wrist and hauls her around the corner, ducking behind the wall. ]

You wanna knock him out, or do I get to?

[ She nods at him and gives a thumbs-up. ]

Go for it.

[ She'll be on-guard, though, in case any other surprises come up or there's some unexpected back-up. ]

[ His grin has a wicked edge to it -- and by no means is he a bloodthirsty type of person (he's not a psychopath like some of his friends are), but god damn does it feel good to finally be doing something. He triggers his helmet and returns the thumbs up.

So when the guard finally steps through the door, looking at some device on his wrist, Peter darts out from their hiding place waves a hand. ]

Hey, bud, how ya doin'?

[ Peter doesn't wait for a reply, though, which is pretty rude. Instead, he surges forward, headbutting the guy and then dropping down to sweep his legs out from under him. And just for good measure, Peter grabs him by his forehead, slamming the back of his head into the floor.

You know. Just to make sure he's really out.

It's as he's nodding to Kasumi that he takes the device off the guy's wrist. ]

We'll need to hide this guy, but I'm guessin' this is what we need?

[ She rounds the corner they were hiding at when he nods at her and approaches. ] Yup, that's it. Nicely done, sir.

--But let's get in first, before anyone sees us out here. I'm sure there's like, a bad guys locker room somewhere, right?

Or an evil broom closet or something.

[ He tosses the device to her, then lifts the guy into a fireman's carry, and he counts his lucky stars that the guy is a normal human size, and not built like Drax. ]

[ She catches it with one hand then promptly activates it, looking on at the door as the console turns green once more. It opens silently than most doors do, which makes a lot of sense, and Kasumi takes the first step in before giving Peter an assuring nod. ]

I was half expecting it to open to a room of guards. Guess we're out of luck? Anyway, looks clear to me, Quill.

[ He makes a face, hidden beneath the metal of his mask as it is, as he steps in after her. ] Why are you trying to jinx us? Seriously?

I'm just saying. Now...

[ She first looks back to make sure the door closes behind them, which it does. Now they're in another hallway, punctuated at the end by an elevator shaft that would presumably take them into the underground passages. There do seem to be a few other doors along the way, although Kasumi's schematics couldn't tell them what they would find behind each one. ]

... Let's find out what's behind door number one?

[ With one hand he keeps the dude steady, as he listens briefly at the door. He doesn't hear anything, which seems like a good enough sign, and he slowly opens it--

And it looks to be an empty electrical room. Lucky them.

He glances around to make sure he didn't catch some snoozing engineer before dumping the unconscious dude unceremoniously to the ground. ]

That at least takes care of one problem.

[ The other problem, of course, is the risk that the guy could wake up at any moment. So Peter grabs a few coils of spare cabling on a nearby table and-- yep, sure is using it as rope to tie the guy's wrists and ankles. As an afterthought he fashions one into a makeshift gag before he stands, clapping his hands together. ]

That should do it. [ He gestures back out the door. ] Shall we?

[ She watches him tie the poor guy up with some degree of amusement. She would have basically tazer'd the guy by way of her omni-tool and Overload, but this was such a Star-Lord style of making sure someone doesn't give you any more trouble. ]

We shall. I call the next guy, though.

[ With that, she starts walking towards the elevator, pulling up her ~~best friend~~ omni-tool once more in anticipation of another surveillance camera and holding the transmitter in her hand in case they need it for any further access points. ]

[ He follows her out to the elevator, hand resting on the grip of his blaster, and they take it to the next floor up. Naturally, though, it’s slow going, and Peter leans back against the elevator wall, sighing impatiently. ]

-- Seriously, who the hell designed these things, anyway?

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