aubergines | ( #002 ) FAKE MARRIED AU

[ She feigns a sigh of exhaustion, leaning onto her not-husband for a moment. ]

Let's do that, darling. I'd like to relax for a little bit; maybe we can find something else to do later tonight.

[ Let's gear up and do something that's actually fun. ]

[ He can't help it -- he smiles and thinks, Finally, as they head back up. ]

As you wish, sweetheart.

[ When they make it back into their quarters, Kasumi watches the door close behind them before almost immediately turning to Peter, a glimmer of wild excitement in her eyes (or what he can see of them, anyway). ]

Excellent job, darling Mr. James McClain. I think we've found the perfect little place to call our own.

[ Now let's go crash this party. ]

[ He's grinning by now, heading for the suitcases containing their gear. He's thanking every god available that there aren't any cameras in their quarters as he plops the cases on the table, popping open his own and running his hands oh, so lovingly over his blasters. ]

Why, Mrs. Elena McClain. You act as if your gorgeous, charming, stunning husband never delivers.

[ While Peter has his moment with his blasters, Kasumi's taking off her disguise, revealing her usual catsuit underneath. Then she's on her omni-tool, pulling up schematics of the building she had gotten before they began the mission. Sure enough, it had been easy enough to get blueprints of the complex, but it left a huge empty void where this west wing would be.

That, of course, didn't stop Kasumi, and it only took a little more extra sabotage and hacking to get what she needed, and while she wasn't quite sure what it was at the time other than the missing piece of the puzzle, she realizes now that it's a schematic of the west wing. It's not quite as detailed as the rest of the map she's got, which details each sector of residences, recreational areas, and offices, but it's enough for them to go on. Then she's popping open her suitcase. On most heists, Kasumi doesn't even bother to bring a gun; hand-to-hand combat usually suffices, if she even needs to engage an enemy, and she loves stealing guns out of her enemies' holsters without them even noticing. But this is Cerberus, so she picks up her trusty M-5 Phalanx and holsters it on her hip. ]

Oh, right. Best husband ever award goes to you, of course, for being so "gorgeous, charming, stunning, and really good at delivering things."

I'll expect my trophy in the next couple of weeks, Goto.

[ Even as he's saying it he's slipping his helmet attachment over his ear, and Jesus Christ he feels a whole lot better having it there. Maybe not safer, but certainly a great deal more comfortable. Next come his boots (because fuck trying to do anything that involves fighting in fancy shoes) and the jet attachments and yep, feeling about 50% more himself.

Last come his blasters and oh man, their weight at his hips reassure him far better than anything else could. He even sighs a little in relief once they're holstered. ]

So. Plan of attack? We crawlin' through vents or something? 'Cause I'm thinkin' that going through the courtyard's out of the question, seeing as how I doubt my outfit meets dress code, now.

Yeah, no kidding. Same here--the catsuit is kind of a dead ringer for "not here to get a two hour Shiatsu massage."

[ Meanwhile, she pulls up a holographic projection of the schematics she has using her omni-tool, showing a three-dimensional diagram of the entire complex. The entire west wing, however, shows up as something like a wireframe outline, whereas the rest of the schematics have everything from door locations to--yep, ventilation. ]

You know, vents are probably our best bet. I could get through most anywhere cloaked, but with these guys--it's probably best that we stick together.

[ He's peering at the schematics, and he's-- yeah, okay, he was actually joking about the ventilation vents thing, and his stomach sinks. ]

You sure I can fit through those things? I'm not exactly built like Gumby, you know.

I know--

[ With a few keystrokes on her omni-tool, another projection is superimposed onto the schematics. ]

--which is why this conveniently extensive network of underground passages are our second best bet. I'm sure we'll run into trouble, but at least we won't be tipping our hand too early on.

[ Oh, thank God, those passages look a lot roomier, and he sighs with relief. ]

Alright, sounds like a plan. I'm in the mood for punching some guys, anyway -- someone has to be punished for putting us through smalltalk.

[ She laughs and says in an obviously joking tone, ] Aw, but I'm going to miss being your pretend-wife.

--Anyway, like I said: let's stick together. They've done a surprisingly good job keeping the layout of the west wing under wraps, seeing as I can't get to them without probably setting something off, so once we get there, we'll have to be a little spontaneous but careful.

Please, Goto. Spontaneous is my middle name. Along with Danger and Handsome. It's hyphenated.

[ He checks his gear one more time, and as an afterthought, he shucks his coat and rolls up his sleeves for more freedom of movement. ] I'm gonna leave the careful part to you, though. That's more your wheelhouse.

[ It's then that she shuts off her omni-tool. ]

Yup. Just--seriously, be careful, okay? And don't get grabbed by the mechs.

[ She knows Peter's more than capable of holding his own, but something about this whole thing is so unsettling, she can't help it. ]

[ There's something in her tone that catches him by surprise. There's another joke on the tip of his tongue, but-- he decides to go for reassuring instead. ]

It'll be fine, Goto. It's not my first time at a rodeo -- and I've got you watching my back anyway, right? We'll be in and out in no time.

Of course, partner.

[ With that, she starts for the door to the quarters and looks back at him. ] Ready?

[ Naturally he follows, and the little rush of adrenaline makes him smirk. ] Ready as I'll ever be.

Let's do this.

[ When the door slides open, Kasumi's on her omni-tool almost immediately, waving it at a nearby surveillance camera to block them out and make sure they don't arouse any suspicions just stepping out into the hall. ]

One of those secret doors down the hall, around the corner. It leads down to one of the tunnels.

So try not to get spotted till then. Got it.

[ He heads down the hall, walking like he owns the place -- just in case a distant observer finds them suspicious. Their luck seems to hold when they don't meet anyone coming or going on this floor; maybe everyone's out doing activities?

And anyway, the less civilians involved the better. No need to deal with some random nine-year-old who happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. ]

What are we looking for here, exactly? Do I just, like, say "friend" and a door pops up?

[ It's with another wave of her omni-tool that a holographic console appears on the wall in red. ]

We're looking for that. It's easy to find hidden locks--just have to run the right algorithms. This one looks like it only opens using a signal from a special transmitter of sorts--probably on the staff or guards.

[ Meaning, they'll have to do some damage to get in. They probably figured DNA or voice recognition would be too easy to crack without being noticed; this way any infiltrators would basically have to confront someone. ]

[ He sighs a little. ] Wish we'd known that earlier before we geared up. Coulda probably nicked one pretty easily.

So-- think we can hack it? Or do you want me start a ruckus and attract a security guard up here?

[ She's still looking at her omni-tool's screen, seeing if she can crack the thing when the console on the door starts turning green. ]

Um, well. [ She looks at Peter: that wasn't me. ] Quill, someone's coming in from the other side.

[ Peter's reflexes have always been fast -- so once she says that, he grabs Kasumi by the wrist and hauls her around the corner, ducking behind the wall. ]

You wanna knock him out, or do I get to?

[ She nods at him and gives a thumbs-up. ]

Go for it.

[ She'll be on-guard, though, in case any other surprises come up or there's some unexpected back-up. ]

[ His grin has a wicked edge to it -- and by no means is he a bloodthirsty type of person (he's not a psychopath like some of his friends are), but god damn does it feel good to finally be doing something. He triggers his helmet and returns the thumbs up.

So when the guard finally steps through the door, looking at some device on his wrist, Peter darts out from their hiding place waves a hand. ]

Hey, bud, how ya doin'?

[ Peter doesn't wait for a reply, though, which is pretty rude. Instead, he surges forward, headbutting the guy and then dropping down to sweep his legs out from under him. And just for good measure, Peter grabs him by his forehead, slamming the back of his head into the floor.

You know. Just to make sure he's really out.

It's as he's nodding to Kasumi that he takes the device off the guy's wrist. ]

We'll need to hide this guy, but I'm guessin' this is what we need?

[ She rounds the corner they were hiding at when he nods at her and approaches. ] Yup, that's it. Nicely done, sir.

--But let's get in first, before anyone sees us out here. I'm sure there's like, a bad guys locker room somewhere, right?

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